The ArmyBrat Speaks

I've moved!

2010-03-30T13:40:00.003-06:00

I've decided to put this blog to rest. I am trying to focus on the positive and have more fun with my life. Heaven knows I need more fun! LOL

So saying that, please come visit me at my new, more positive and more fun home at http://www.loonie-tic.blogspot.com/

There isn't too much there yet but I'll get there...my boys are a constant source of giggles around here when I stop to notice and appreciate it.

The Happenings in the Lee Clan

2009-08-13T00:03:00.003-06:00

Holy crapper it's been a while since I've updated! I'm a bad blogger, get over it! LOL

OK, Nathan just turned 8 on the 9th. We did a family day that included playing in the new play ground in Spruce Grove, swimming at Millenium Place (and a short visit to the indoor playroom), the supper that he requested and finished off with the cake he picked out (Chocolate Mousse...Like I was going to argue! LOL) We'll do a party with his friends after school starts up again. Both Nathan and Nicholas enjoyed playing on the Medical Emergency toy...I mean the new Slip and Slide. They had a blast sliding into the little puddle at the end. Both were nicely scraped up by the end so fun was had by all. LOL

Nolan took his first unaided steps on the 5th. He is really doing well with walking, he just needs to build his confidence. He walks with a light touch on anything but not really holding on to anything. He'll stand then realize he's not holding onto anything and start to squat to sit down. A few times he's clued into the fact that he's standing on his own power and straightens up with a look of self satisfaction.

He's ramping up the cheese factor by 1000%. He likes to give a big cheesy grin, wrinkle his nose and make funny sounds. He'll either make a geeky laugh sound (the big intake of breath) or he'll start to snuffle (like panting through the nose). The really funny part is that there are photos of ME making the same face when I was a baby! He's definitely mine. No switcheroos at the hospital!

Nicholas has lost 2 bottom front teeth in less than a week. The Tooth Fairy had to scramble the first time and came up with 4 quarters but this time she knows she has a loonie. She made sure of it. Now if he'll only go to sleep!

Stephen is going to be on vacation again starting next Tuesday. He'll be underfoot, I mean home with the family, for 3 weeks. After last month's trip to Disney Land, San Diego and San Francisco, I doubt he'll want to drive anywhere further than a 3 hour trip. LOL Maybe I can convince him to go 5 hours and we'll go up to Lesser Slave Lake again on a day trip.

I'm still recovering from Disney. It wasn't Disney that was the problem it was the one day we spent at the beach. That is for another post though.

I'm not exactly sure what else we're up to but we always seem busy. Nothing is accomplished but we've remained occupied! I know that I have some household chores to do but I'm trying to wish them away. I keep hoping magic fairies will come over and clean the playroom for me and little gnomes will stop by with their tiny mowers and take care of the grass. But every morning I wake up to disappointment...they didn't come over. If anyone has seen these creatures, please do me a favour and send them my way.

So while I disappear into my delusions, enjoy the rest of your summer everyone!

Now how do you explain this?

2009-07-02T02:05:00.003-06:00

I was at the grocery store today with the munchkins and roaming the aisles by the pharmacy. As we strolled past the "Intimate" section, Nathan picks up a box with flames all over it and the word Hot listed on it. It was a box of condoms extolling their great feel and how hot your love life would be. Of course Nathan has no clue what this box contains but is interested in the flames and the few words he can read.

In what I would describe as a loud voice, he asks me if what is in the box is hot/spicy. I'm trying not to laugh as my mind was in the gutter and thinking dirty thoughts about how spicy the contents can make one's life. He was under the impression that the contents were something to eat. I tried to be subtle and only answer what I was asked but it wasn't going to fly for Nathan. I didn't want to explain what was in the box at quite that moment as there were other people around but Nathan was persistent. He's good at being persistent.

So my explanation was something along the lines of, "Honey, what you picked up was a box of condoms. When a man and a woman have sex, they can put a condom on the man's penis so that his 'seeds' won't get inside the woman and make a baby."

Well, didn't Nathan's face turn a delightful shade of red. LOL Poor kid! I don't think he knew whether to be grossed out or to laugh. He made a funny face, giggled nervously then looked a little grossed out. LOL His reaction kind of made my day as I hadn't laughed much by that point. He hasn't said anything else about it for the rest of the evening.

My poor kid, traumatized in the grocery store. LOL

Busy, busy week

2009-06-15T02:12:00.002-06:00

What a freaking busy week last week was for me! Holy cracker-doodles! LOL Lots of airport runs and day home kids and out of town visitors and getting sick and baby teething and, and, and! LOL

With 2 day home kids plus all three of mine, we picked Stephen up from his airport commute. My Dad, his partner Karen (I guess I could start calling her my step-mom, they are common law now. LOL) and Karen's brother John were camping close by so they came over for a bar-b-q. Good food, great company...who could ask for anything else?

The next day we took Nathan to an audiologist appointment. Same results, mild hearing loss. Most likely has fluid in there affecting the middle ear so he'll need to see his doctor and get a referral to an ENT to see if we can get tubes or something. Then we went out to the campground to see Dad, Karen and John. John had a guitar and played for a while. Nathan was completely enthralled. John showed Nathan some chords and Nathan sat cheerfully strumming for quite a while. Nic bounced from person to person and dog to dog (Dad and Karen's dogs, Bear and Tuxedo). Nolan smiled and charmed his way through the night.

On Friday we took Stephen to the airport to fly out to his Dad's 70th birthday. Stephen was the surprise guest. His Dad was pretty happy to see him. All in all a success. Saturday involved some shopping then back out to the campground for another feast at the trailer. John played again, Nathan strummed for a little while, dogs were walked, marshmallows were roasted, etc.

Sunday was the only rotten day. I was so weak and sick again. I don't know why it comes on like that but it does. Now at 2:45 Monday morning, I'm feeling a little better. I guess whatever was bothering my tummy has now been expelled. Good thing too since I have to make an airport run to get Stephen from his trip to PoCo. And Tuesday he flies back up to Ft. Mac. Yes, that involves ANOTHER airport run. Man, oh man, my loser cruiser is really putting on the kilometers lately. LOL

I think I'll try to head to bed now since I have a day home client at 7-something and Nathan has to take the bus before 8. *yawn* Nite-nite all!

The Littlest Lee is Growing Up Too Fast

2009-05-24T20:59:00.003-06:00

I'm starting to see that Nolan won't be a baby forever anymore. He has had 2 teeth on the bottom for a few months now but he has now cut 4, count them, 4 teeth on the top all at once. There may be 2 more coming up from the bottom too but he's being a turkey and won't let me look anymore.

THEN, today alone, he put himself into a sitting position all by himself, pulled himself into a standing position all by himself and tried crawling on his hands and knees rather than army crawling. I'm stunned! Why did he have to pull this all today? He's a big poop! And of course Stephen has to be away this weekend. He's going to see huge differences on Tuesday even though we last saw him LAST Tuesday.

Nolan has also finally had his 6 month shots. He weighed in at 20 lbs 14 oz and just over 27 inches long. He's a MONSTER! Thank goodness he's a good natured, loving, smiley, no making strange monster! LOL

In Honour of St. Patty's Day

2009-03-17T11:08:00.004-06:00

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rains fall soft upon your fields,
And, until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

I caught a little of Regis and Kelly this morning (unintentional, I was channel flipping) and there were 3 priests from Ireland singing this verse. They apparently have a CD called The Priests. I was so moved by them. Maybe it was the sound of their voices (beautiful male operatic voices) or the meaning behind the words (what ever you read into them) but I lost myself in them for the too few moments they were singing.

What if?

2009-03-14T10:46:00.003-06:00

What would you have done differently if you knew it was the very last time you'd ever see someone? What would you have said? Would you have changed something?

What if you knew that the last time was coming? What would you have done differently leading up to it? Would you have made the attempt to be there for that last Christmas? Would you have traveled out for that last birthday together? What plans might have gone differently?

Would you have stopped thinking about yourself and just been there...in that moment. Would your perspectives have changed?

What would your conversations have been about? Would you have said all you wanted to say? Apologize for the wrongs? Celebrate the greats? Ask for their advice? A share of their wisdom?

Would you have held them closer? Wiped more of their tears? Would you have held on so tight like you'd never let them go?

What would you change if you only knew then what you know now?

Some mental house cleaning

2008-11-26T01:14:00.003-07:00

As some of you know, I have suffered from bouts of depression since my pre-teens. I made my first (and only) suicide attempt at the ripe old age of 11 or 12 and I did some semi high risk behaviours in my teens and early twenties to try and just FEEL something. I was so confused about what I was feeling that I didn't feel like I was actually living. So after more than 20 years of suffering, I'm doing something about it. Yes, I'm airing my dirty undies for all to see...I'm only human you know.

I have tried different antidepressants over the years and I've done some counselling half heartedly. I've also done an out patient program that was great while I was in it but I sunk to the bottom again once it was over. I have cut myself, dated the "wrong" men, ignored friends and put myself in harms way to try and get an understanding of who I was and what I was doing on this earth. I may not have all the answers yet but I'm learning.

Because of my depression, I knew that I was a prime candidate for Post Partum Depression. After Nathan, I was depressed but it wasn't too bad. I was more weepy but I got through it on my own. I "learned" how to suck it up and just get on with life. It wasn't the best way of doing things but I managed. After Nicholas, I was a basket case. I cried over everything. I didn't have a sense of myself or my family. I was lost and alone in so many ways.

When I was getting close to my due date for Nolan, I decided that I was NOT going to feel like I did the last two times. I started to make appointments and gather supports BEFORE the meltdowns started. I knew logically that I had to do this myself FOR myself. If I couldn't help me then who else could?

After Nolan was born I was angry with everything. Nothing was right in my world. Nathan and Nic were doing everything to push my buttons, Stephen wasn't helping, I had no one to support me. Well, at least that is how I was feeling. Right or wrong, that is what I felt like. I finally broke down and asked my doctor for antidepressants. I tried to avoid them because I didn't want to put more chemicals into my body but I realized that I wasn't going to get better without them.

As well, I started seeing a counsellor. We've only had a couple of appointments but already I'm seeing some emotional relief or even just a release. I'm not one to ask for help. I'm an only child who was always fairly independent. I did things my way and that was the only way I knew. Again, right or wrong, that is how I managed. I always figured that I could do it myself or someone would see that I was struggling and would come to my rescue. It would obviously entail some mind reading though because I often would put on a facade to not let anyone know how screwed up I was.

I tried to put forward a clean, well put together front so no one could judge me. I didn't need anyone to judge me because I did plenty of that myself. I am my harshest critic. Someone in the past year asked why I allow people around me to be human but cannot allow that of myself. I couldn't answer that. I hold myself in sharp criticism and expect perfection. If I can't be perfect then why even try? It's still something I have to work on.

As it stands right now, I'm on an antidepressant that is doing wonders for me. At first I was very worried. I felt numbed out...I THOUGHT I wasn't crying, I wasn't angry, I wasn't happy, I wasn't anything. Then I realized...I was having normal emotional responses to my life. I have had over 20 years of intense, blinding emotions that a quieter, more normal response was very disconcerting. I started to cry when it was warranted instead of over every comment, commercial, song, TV program, etc. I yelled when the kids were doing something dangerous or overtly against the rules. I laughed when something was funny and not because I was nervous or insecure. It's a whole new reality for me.

I pointed out to Stephen that he met me with depression, he married me with depression, he has worked with me through the good times and bad with depression and now I'm trying to make beneficial changes to myself. He's happy for me that I'm doing this for myself. He knows that if I can work through my issues then it can only benefit us as a couple and us as a family. My children deserve a sane, put together Mommy and that is what I intend to do.

Holy Smacker-doodle! She's ALIVE!!!!

2008-10-16T12:35:00.002-06:00

No, I haven't actually fallen off the face of the earth. Close...but not true! So much has been happening and I haven't found the time (or the creativity) to post.

Of course the big news is that Nolan Mitchell Lee finally arrived. He was born on Sept 5th at 1:01 am. He weighed in at a hefty 10 lbs 9 oz and 22 inches long. He's a pretty good baby...he's finally learning that when he sees that bright light in the sky it is day time and he needs to be awake more. The Darkness is when he's supposed to be sleeping. He's usually eating around midnight then again around 3 or 4 then another feeding around 6 or 7. Not too bad for night time feedings.

Nathan and Nicholas still think Nolan is the cat's pyjamas! Nathan likes to try and tote Nolan around and to feed him. I can't quite convince him to change diapers though. Still working on that one. LOL Nicholas likes to be in close contact with Nolan too. He always wants to hug and kiss Nolan or to hold his hand or foot. I can only hope that the boys all maintain that close contact and actually enjoy growing up together.

Nathan has now turned 7 and has started in Grade One. The original class had 27 students so they split it into 2 classes. Nathan seems to really like his teacher. One of his favourite things is that she has a bracelet with a REAL spider in it. Hey, its a conversation piece! LOL

Nicholas is now 4 and finally coming into his own in respect to socialization. Now that he's a big brother, he talks to anyone and everyone about the baby. Nolan is Nicholas's favourite conversation piece. (Please! Let them still like each other in the coming years! LOL)

Stephen has started a new job AGAIN!!! He is working up in Fort McMurray at Suncor. The schedule is kind of retarded but once he gets into the swing of things (and gets all access to the computer systems he's expected to work with) it won't seem so out of the ordinary. For the time being, he is able to take 3 day weekends so that he can drive home and be with us for a couple of days each week. We're adjusting...it's what we do! LOL

As for me...I'm just hanging about, being me and getting used to being the Mom of 3 highly demanding and strong willed boys. They definitely take after their Father! LOL

Eventually I'll get some photos up of the boys. Just know that I'm still here and lurking about on every one's blogs...Are you all feeling WATCHED now? LOL

Nic's Gall Bladder Surgery

2008-08-11T14:31:00.004-06:00

I just realized that I hadn't updated my blog about Nic's surgery! Guess I've been a little distracted. LOL

We went in as per scheduled but the surgery was delayed by about an hour. I guess the ORs can get a little backed up at times. LOL Daddy put on the silly gown and cap and carried Nic into the operating room. They looked at a book while the doctors got busy putting in the IV and sending him off to dream land. Apparently he didn't even fuss when the needle went in so the EMLA cream did it's job.

Stephen and I walked down the hall from the ORs and found my friend Hope looking around for us. She stopped by on her lunch break for a quick hug and a little added support. Stephen and I ended up just wandering aimlessly for a while, nibbled on sandwiches brought from home and tried to be patient.

After the surgery, Nic was in recovery for a while then he was taken upstairs to a post-op observation ward. He stayed nicely passed out for a couple more hours and was still sleeping when the surgeon came around on rounds. Because Nic was still passed out for those rounds, we had to stay the night. I wasn't happy but what can a Mommy do? LOL

When Nic FINALLY woke up, he wanted to eat and drink everything in sight. I had just bought myself a burger from downstairs and he wanted that thing with all of his being. The nurses said he could have ice chips but they didn't go over very well. LOL I snuck him some apple juice and he was a little happier. Then we tried toast and that went down like a dream! So juice, toast and finally part of a muffin ended up being his menu that evening and night.

Once he was awake, he was AWAKE! Like I said, he wanted to eat and drink everything. I had to go down the hall to get his toast and juice and when I came out of the kitchen, there's Nic, standing there with his IV pole! He was bored and didn't want to wait for me to come back. That was it...he wanted to walk everywhere! We toured the 5th floor and our ward, sat and watched some TV, wandered some more, got snacks, wandered some more, watch more TV...and on and on it went.

When the nurses saw that he was drinking, eating, walking and peeing with no complaints, they turned down and finally turned off his IV. He had to keep the IV port in overnight just in case but the IV pole didn't need to be towed along anymore.

Nic's roommate had just had surgery to put a metal rod in his leg so was in a lot of pain and in traction. He was screaming every 2 hours or so, so Nic and I didn't get a lot of sleep. The nurses kept apologizing but it didn't increase my sleep any. LOL

The surgeon's resident and a couple of lackeys came around at 6am and verbally released Nic. We got dressed and waited for the papers to be "filed" in our chart and for the IV to be removed. I knew that it was close to shift change so I tried to be patient. LOL When a student nurse came in to do Nic's vital signs, she almost fell over that we were both dressed and packed to go. She got his release papers and the prescription and took out the IV and the two of us RAN out of the hospital. Neither one of us wanted to be there anymore. LOL

We drove back to Stony Plain, got his painkillers and scooted home. Stephen and Nathan were pretty happy to see us and we just wanted to rest some more. It took a while to get us back on a proper sleep schedule but we're doing better.

He came through the surgery like a champ and healed beautifully. The incisions are really tiny, like the width of my fingernail tiny. He still guards his tummy a little and doesn't want it to be pushed on but he's playing and wrestling and being a boy just like normal. Like anything/anyone in my house is NORMAL! LOL

The worries of a munchkin

2008-07-28T20:31:00.003-06:00

Here I am, the night before Nicholas's surgery trying to figure out how to keep him calm. He's been really whiny, clingy and demanding. Everything is setting him off and his reactions are over the top for the circumstances.

He was mad at Nathan because Nathan got to what I asked for first and grabbed it. Nicholas started to swing because HE wanted to get it for me and Nathan of course defended himself. Well...that set Nic off into absolute hysterics. He finally got an apology from Nathan (Nathan had hurt him a little with a glancing head butt) but he was still sobbing. Even me holding him wasn't enough to calm him. He finally said that he was scared about the operation tomorrow. He's afraid of the "pokies". I sat him down and said that I'd be honest with him and tell him what he wanted to know.

He wanted all the details from the time we got up until the end of the day. I told him about going through admitting, getting jammies on and then getting a cream on his hands so that the pokie won't hurt so much. I tried to explain that Mommy or Daddy will take him into the operating room and hold him until he falls asleep then when he wakes up, we'll come and sit with him until it's time to go home. When I explained that I'll have his blanket and his stuffed "Moosie" he was happier.

Hopefully I can get him off to bed tonight with little fanfare. He's looking forward to getting up early so that he can have some Jello. (He can have clear fluids and Jello until 4 hours before surgery.) Isn't that just like a kid! LOL

So, be thinking about us tomorrow at 11:30. Hopefully they'll be on time so that he isn't kept waiting without food for too much longer than is necessary. That's Mommy's worry. LOL

A turn of events

2008-07-23T14:33:00.002-06:00

There has been a bit of a change in plans. This change is going to help my stress level go down...just a little bit. LOL

I got a phone call from the hospital again this morning. There has been a cancellation so they can bump Nicholas up to have surgery on July 29th! He'll go to the Pre-Admission clinic on Friday to be weighed and measured to get the meds figured out. I'll find out on July 28th what time we have to be at the hospital.

It's been set up for Nicholas to stay the night but if he comes through with flying colours, the surgeon might release him that day. So as long as I don't have this baby this weekend, I'm rocking and rolling!

Nicholas has been complaining since Monday night that his belly hurts. He's acting like the beginning of a major attack but there hasn't been any vomiting yet so we may be in luck. I think he may be looking for attention rather than actually being in pain. I've been watching a 10 month old in the evening all week and I'll have him the rest of the week too. I think Nicholas is a little jealous and is making sure Mommy is still here and still very much in love with him. We'll have to see how this all develops. IF he's not faking, he may be dealt with even earlier but we'll see. We'll see!

Busy, Busy, Busy

2008-07-22T17:40:00.003-06:00

So much is happening and it seems like not enough time to do it in. LOL I'm at an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet and I need to be kicked out...TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE!!!! LOL

5 weeks and 4 days left until my expected due date and I still need to clean out that room and set up the crib. Minor details is washing and sterilizing the bottles, nipples, toys and pump.

Nicholas has finally been booked for surgery. He's having his gizzard yanked on September 2nd. Yeah, only a couple days after my due date and Nathan's first day of Grade One. Oh what fun! Like I didn't have enough other things on my mind!

On a slightly different (yet very related) note, is it bad to be slightly tempted to send Nic into an attack to see if they'll deal with him sooner? Yeah, I thought so...Bad Idea. LOL

We're still waiting to have more assessments on Nathan. It'll be nice to try and figure out what wires are crossed and how we can help him be the best Nathan he can be.

It appears that I'll be re-opening the day home earlier than expected. We'll see how it pans out this time. I'm considering going through the day home agency to try and make sure I have a full house and to not have to deal with tracking down clients to get paid. Getting into the agency may prove difficult but I'm starting the paperwork now to try and get started soon after the baby comes.

I'm trying to get the house prepped for baby and the day home. Cleaning, re-organizing, purging, etc. It's enough to make your head spin.

So my life is busy...I'm doing everything but completing nothing. LOL Where does the time go? LOL

So close

2008-07-10T20:47:00.004-06:00

We are so close to being done!

The bunk bed arrived this morning so the boys will be sharing a room by this weekend. Now, to try and figure out how to keep their clothes separate. LOL

All the baby essentials are in the house and ready to be installed. The car seats will be dealt with this weekend to ensure they fit in our respective vehicles. The crib will be wiped down and assembled in the near future (after moving Nic to Nathan's room) and then I can deal with the basket of baby clothes that need to be put away. I have a little more stuff to wash before baby arrives (toys, bottles, soothers, etc) but I'm essentially done with that.

I have started to pack my hospital bag. My toiletries are set except for my glasses and I've got most of the socks, undies and jammies that I need. I still need to figure out what I'm taking for the baby but that'll be done in the near future too.

Giving in a little to my OCD side, I have packed a small emergency bag for in the vehicle. Nothing much, just a couple of towels, a snot sucker and some garbage bags. An online friend, who is also pregnant right now, asked what that was for. My response was in case I go into labour while we're out and about, I can sit or lay on the garbage bags and towels and not bleed or leak amniotic fluid on the seats of the vehicles. It seems logical to me...LOL OK, I'm paranoid and a little OCD but if it makes the Mommy happy then it is all right!

7 Weeks 2 days left until my expected due date...It's coming faster than I thought.

8 weeks left

2008-07-04T13:54:00.002-06:00

I don't know how this happened so fast, I have 8 weeks left until my expected due date. It seems like not that long ago that it was January/February and I was just announcing my Oopsie! LOL

Any ways, this has been my healthiest pregnancy so far. No high blood pressure, no complications with the baby, no gestational diabetes, nothing really bad. Sure I'm having the typical pregnancy related discomforts but they are manageable. I'm a little anemic but iron supplements fix that pretty fast. Other than that, I'm just melting in the heat. Sweating like a man comes to mind. LOL

I have to see the OB every 2 weeks now. The boys have been coming with me lately and they love to hear the baby's heartbeat. They think it sounds squishy or watery. I just like the sound. LOL

I'm measuring a little larger than average but I'm not surprised. Nathan was born at 38 weeks and was 7 lbs 12 oz. If I'd gone the full 40 weeks, I'm sure he'd have been 8 or 9 lbs easily. Nicholas was born within days of his due date and was 9 lbs 3 oz. With history and measuring a little large, I figure this one will be around 9 lbs too. Gee I hope the sleepers and diapers I bought are big enough...Yikes! LOL

Overall I'm pretty much ready for baby to arrive. The only thing that still needs to be purchased is a car seat. We're looking at a Britax Marathon for in the car (better fit with 2 boosters) and an infant carrier seat for in the van. I figure it'll be easier when I'm alone with the munchkins to have a carrier seat to attach to the shopping carts. LOL

We've also ordered a bunk bed for Nathan and Nicholas. It's a single bed over a double bed. We've already got the mattresses so we're just waiting on the frame. It's on back order so it could arrive any time between now and the end of August. I hope it's sooner though so we can move Nicholas into Nathan's room and get them settled into the routine of sleeping in the same room. Once Nic is moved, I can set up the crib in his old room. Nic is pretty excited about the move into the bunk bed and into Nathan's room. He sees it as graduating into a bigger big boy. Whatever floats your boat little man! LOL

So that's the update for now. Maybe I'll update again before the baby actually arrives. LOL

Nathan's Accomplishment

2008-06-04T13:44:00.003-06:00

My Nathan has made a big step...he's learned how to ride a two wheeler WITH NO TRAINING WHEELS!!!!!

He was so nervous last year and self defeating. He was so sure that he couldn't do it that he didn't. This year, he begged for the training wheels but we told him it was time to sink or swim without them. He looked seriously skeptical but he put enough trust in his Daddy and let it rip. Now you can literally SEE his confidence growing each time he starts and stops his bike.

He begs to be taken on a bike ride every day now. Stephen is going to have to bring down his own bike now and get the chain greased and his tires inflated so that he can get going and keep up with Nathan. I swear our bikes haven't been used since before Nathan was born so it may need some work. LOL

Baby boy with big words

2008-05-30T22:13:00.003-06:00

I hadn't even noticed but it was pointed out during recent visits by my in-laws that Nicholas is really growing up and his vocabulary is growing almost daily.

While my Mother-in-law and Father-in-law were visiting, we heard Nicholas using Actually and Ridiculous on a regular basis. He was using them well and in proper context. My Mother-in-law hadn't seen Nicholas in 5 or 6 months so this was a huge change for her.

While my Sister-in-law was visiting, we were talking about caterpillars and butterflies. We were telling the boys about how a caterpillar eats and eats and eats then it makes a nice cozy house for itself and has a long nap. After the nap, it comes out as a pretty butterfly. Nicholas sat there, drinking up the information we were giving then pipes up, "Oh, a CHRYSALIS!"

My sister-in-law and I just about dropped dead with shock! We were trying to dumb it down for a 3 year old and he shoots back proper terminology. LOL Guess he showed us, eh? LOL

I guess 6 months makes a big difference in little kids. LOL

Funny how the mind works

2008-05-30T22:05:00.002-06:00

This morning, while he was showering, Stephen had the wierdest thoughts...

He started thinking about the kids and their initials. By using their initials, he found out their futures; sort of.

Nathan James Lee = NJL = In Jail (if you say it fast enough, it makes sense LOL) He's our trouble maker!

Nicholas Arthur Lee = NAL = Nail, as in tough as nails (my medically fragile baby HaHaHa) or he's gonna nail you (fighter, contact sports, etc)

(I won't give the name away since some people don't want to know the sex) NML = Animal (hard to train or rein in) or a Party Animal

Things that make you go HMMMMMMM! LOL And we didn't want to put labels on our kids...LOL

Maybe we're getting somewhere now

2008-05-22T13:41:00.002-06:00

We saw the GI specialist again today. She confirmed that all the test thus far have been normal. Nicholas does not have an auto immune disorder that is attacking his body and he isn't lacking enzymes or what not that would prevent digestion or the break down of fats. His cholesterol is good as well. We still don't know WHY he has gall stones, he just does.

As it stands right now, she wants to recheck his liver enzymes and another test that has been missed so far. In the mean time, she's sending a referal to a surgeon to have Nic's gall bladder removed. We still need to wait to see the guy and then wait for the actual surgery so I still think it'll be done after the baby arrives. Oh won't THAT be a fun time? NOT!!!!

The surgeon is the same one that removed the tumour from Nathan's arm in 2006. At least I know what I'm in for with this guy.

6 Unimportant things about me

2008-05-20T14:43:00.003-06:00

I was tagged by http://uncontrollablecuriosity.blogspot.com/ The meme topic is to share six unimportant things about myself and then to tag six other people to do the same thing.Here are the rules:1. Link back to the person who tagged you.2. Post these rules on your blog.3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.4. Tag six random people at the end of your entry.

1. I am the only blood related grandchild on my Dad's side of the family.

2. I was told I would never have children of my own. (I'm a mother of 2 and I am due with #3 in late August. #1 and #3 were complete surprises, #2 was the only one that was planned.)

3. All the men I have ever dated have been of Scottish decent. (Not planned that way, its just the way things turned out)

4. I was an A and B average student but too lazy (or lacking study skills) to fully reach my potential. If I had actually studied, I think I would have been a straight A student.

5. I started to develop early and got my first bra at 9 or 10 years old.

6. I am such a klutz that I resemble an over ripe banana more often than not.

I'm having trouble tagging people because my favourite bloggers have already been tagged. I'll just put out a general challenge to my friends and family to post 6 unimportant things about themselves.

2008-05-10T08:53:00.002-06:00

I took Nicholas for another liver ultrasound this past Thursday. It was to follow-up on the first one and to confirm the findings.

The original findings have been confirmed. He has one lonely gall stone. It is about half a centimeter in diameter. I asked if it moving around could have caused Nic's problems in August and this past February and the doctor that came in said that more than likely, he had 2 other stones that have passed. The passing of the stones would have caused the pain, the liver enlargement, and the enzyme elevation.

His current stone cannot pass on it's own because the duct is just a little too small at only 4 mm.

On the good side, the liver looks good. First indicators said that it was fatty but that proved not true. The bile duct is good too. There is no swelling to be seen at the moment.

So now we wait some more. Nic's next appointment with the GI specialists in May 22nd. We'll have to see what they have to say.

Update on Stephen and Me

2008-05-10T08:37:00.003-06:00

Wow, it's been about 2 weeks and no one has hassled me about slacking! LOL

Any way, things have been up and down and maybe a little upside down around here. Stephen and I have finally tried to clean out the storage room a little and the section we've taken care of is GREATLY reduced. The area under the stairs has been jammed with boxes and rubber bins since we moved in here 4 years ago. Some of the boxes had not seen the light of day since the day I packed them. We were ruthless and garbaged what we had to, posted the stuff we want to get rid of and packed the rest away. We have less than half the stuff that we used to. Now, if we could get to the rest of the storage room and put in some shelves to get things organized. Eventually! As long as I can crawl through the mess to get the crib at some point between now and the end of August. LOL

Stephen has been offered a new job. He's been working hard in a labour intensive job since the end of November and has now been offered a supervisory position with another company. He'll be doing the evening shift, supervising 7 people, doing load planning, logistics, and delegating duties. I'm pretty proud of him.

I'm still pregnant and feeling it more and more every day. The baby is making its presence known more frequently and once or twice I've caught movement on the outside. It'll be fun when Stephen and the boys can experience that too.

I'm having some mild swelling issues in my feet, hands and face but it's only bad when the weather warms up. So far my blood pressure has remained steady so for now I'm still on my feet. I'm definitely more tired this time around but since this is the last time I'm doing this, I'm going to enjoy it all. (Famous last words. LOL)

A Meeting at the School

2008-04-24T08:11:00.005-06:00

I had the appointment at the school with Nathan's teacher, the school counsellor, and the school district psychologist. It was rather enlightening.

Nathan's big skills are in non-verbal, hands on areas and his verbal areas are seriously lacking. To average out his scores, he fits into the average for his age but if you look at them separately...WOW, what a difference.

Some of what was said wasn't a surprise, I already knew that he was a hands on, impulsive type of kid and his language skills are lacking. Basing her opinion on her education and experience, the psychologist can reasonably say that Nathan has a language based learning disability.

At this point, all we can do is modify some of his stuff to make it more fun, more creative, and more visual. The earlier grades can be modified in such a way but later on there may be some trouble doing that. This is great information to be passed on to his Grade One teacher so she can "understand his unique set of skills and weaknesses".

The psychologist recommends further and repeated audiology testing. Although his last test was clear and there doesn't appear to be any more hearing loss, his history of ear infections and fluid causing mild hearing loss could repeat itself. She also recommends he be tested for a Central Auditory Processing Disorder. That can't be done until he's at least 7. The psychologist said that he can wait until later fall to do that since there will be a some big changes right after he turns 7; the baby is due that month and he'll be starting Grade One.

All in all, the meeting went well. It confirmed some of my suspicions and let me know that no one is at fault. Neither the school nor us the parents are failing Nathan. We now have some ideas on how to help Nathan succeed and that is what my goal was. I didn't want him "labeled" but I wanted an understanding of why he was struggling. Now I have some ideas and I can proceed with helping him in a more visual, creative way.

On another slightly different topic, Nicholas was getting a little restless during the meeting so he was taken down to Nathan's class room. Nathan just lit up when he saw Nic. Nicholas went in, sat next to Nathan on the mats and did whatever the big kids were doing. He even tried to play BINGO with the big kids. Nathan and another boy helped Nic with his BINGO card.

I asked Nic what he did in the class and he said, " I learned stuff!" He was so happy to be in school with Nathan. LOL Nic was so upset when I said that we had to leave to run errands and that Nathan was going to stay at the school. Nic wanted to stay at school with Nathan. I felt kind of bad for him since he was having so much fun but he's only 3 and a half and not ready for kindergarten. Although, he'd probably say that he was. LOL Poor kid.

Horrible Mommy Moment

2008-04-18T09:35:00.002-06:00

Basing my opinion on the fact that Nicholas has one visible gall stone and potentially more that are not seen yet, I think I sent him into a gall bladder attack this week.

I made fried chicken one night and Nicholas ate half a breast. The following morning, he woke up complaining that his belly hurt then promptly had a technicolour yawn. He got sick a few more times over the space of 5 hours then was perfectly fine.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't food poisoning since Nathan ate the other half of the chicken breast and wasn't sick at all the next day.

I called the GI clinic and they said to call back the next morning if he was still sick and they'd fax over another lab requisition. Since he was fine by then, I didn't do it.

A gall bladder attack may fit...greasy food then belly pain and vomiting lasting less than 12 hours. Oh, the questions I'll have at the next appointment.

Parasite #3

2008-04-18T09:18:00.004-06:00

I had my first OB appointment last Monday. It was a short and sweet visit. No big pile of paperwork since I had been a patient back in 2004. The only info that had changed was my work number.

My blood pressure was 140/70 which is consistant to what I've been sitting at all pregnancy. The baby's heartbeat was strong and it kept moving away from the doppler. Nathan was the same way, he hated the monitors. He'd skitter away until there was no room left then he started to kick or punch them away. Only my kids eh? LOL

Dr. Jiwa wants me back on the Metformin because it may help slow my weight gain and control any potential blood sugar issues. I've dodge the gestational diabetes bullet twice before but you never know what will happen this time. This pregnancy has been so easy on me so far that SOMETHING has to go wrong. LOL Yes, I'm a glass half empty type. LOL

She sent me for some more blood tests too. Mostly just to get a baseline so if something starts to spike we'll see it right away and be able to deal with it before it gets out of hand. I still have to do my 24hr urine collection and a blood test after that. Again it is only to get a baseline. It's all to do with my high blood pressure.

The OB has ordered my next ultrasound. Hopefully we'll get better images this time. So I'll be doing the pee-pee dance again on Tuesday.

So everything is going well for the time being on the baby front.

Nicholas's latest GI appointment

2008-04-18T08:49:00.004-06:00

I took Nic into the GI clinic on April 10th. I ended up pretty disappointed.

After loads of waiting (go figure, it's a specialist's office) the doctor was only with us for a few minutes. She ordered more blood tests and another liver ultrasound. Apparently the first ultrasound wasn't totally clear because Nicholas was full of gas. I always knew he was a little stinker. LOL

Any way, he has ONE gall stone that may be the cause of all his troubles. The doctor wants another ultrasound to see if it has gotten bigger, smaller, moved, asexually reproduced, etc.

His liver was not enlarged at the latest appointment so he's OK for now. I asked about an MRI or a CT scan to maybe see the gall bladder and liver better and she said that he'd have to be sedated and she wants to avoid putting him under until they have to. He's already had anesthetic 3 times. She kind of wants to wait and see for a while longer. We're already scheduled for the next liver ultrasound and his next appointment and the blood tests were done that day.

I asked about doing the liver biopsy and she said that she'd have to consult with yet another doctor. She apparently has "learned from her mistakes". She has done liver biopsies then found out that another doctor needs in on the case and he'll need samples too so they have to redo the biopsy. So, we're gonna wait on that one for a little while longer too. She needs to see the new liver ultrasound and the blood test results before she does anything else.

I left the appointment very disappointed. I know they have to do tests to get a diagnosis but hasn't he had enough tests already?

Ultrasound for Baby #3

2008-04-02T16:28:00.003-06:00

I made the appointment, drank the GALLONS of water required, then tried to lay still as an evil sadist of an ultrasound tech ran a cold gelled wand across my belly.

OK, so she wasn't much of a sadist, she let me get up twice during the exam to make my bladder gladder. LOL I was so bloody full! LOL

I had my suspicions that this baby wasn't as old as I hoped. With 40-45 day cycles I can't see me ovulating at the same time as a "normal" woman with a 28 day cycle. It was pretty close though; I had it calculated at 18 weeks 3 days and the tech said 18 weeks 1 day. Not too bad. However, I can see the dates still changing because she could only get one measurement to make her guesstimate with.

The baby was laying in a weird position so getting all the appropriate measurements and views was next to impossible. Saying that, I'll have to go in for another ultrasound in the near future to get further info.

However, even though the baby was in a weird position, we could still see the heart beating (just couldn't get the info the radiologist needs) and we got quite a clear view of this not so shy baby's nether bits. We (Stephen, the boys and I) know what it is but because some family members do NOT want to know (and they occasionally read this blog) I cannot spill the beans here. Head to motherhood.ca or eventually I'll say it on Facebook. Or ask me via email...Or you can call me...Or text even! LOL

All in all, there were 2 arms, 2 legs, a heartbeat, 2 heads (KIDDING) and lots of movement. Yes Hope and Carol, there was only 1 baby in there. TOLD YA! LOL

The latest on Nic's medical saga

2008-03-26T13:52:00.002-06:00

Last week Nicholas had his liver ultrasound. The tech seemed to be measuring a lot of little things but I couldn't tell what any of it was. For all I know, she was measuring the veins, valves, etc in and around the liver.

Today the pediatrician saw us to discuss the ultrasound results. There wasn't a lot indicated but there appears to be some small gall stones in Nic's gallbladder. Strange! Still, the way Nic developed his symptoms is not consistent with gall stones. For Nic to be so sick and so jaundiced, it would have taken a large stone to block the bile duct and he only has little ones.

Any ways, we're still not any further ahead with a diagnosis but I think we may be getting there...eventually.

Nic has to see a Peds GI doctor on April 10th. The original Peds GI doc is good but apparently this other one is THE ONE to see for liver problems. Maybe she'll have more news for me by then. A liver biopsy is still a distinct possibility in our future.

17 and a half weeks Preggo

2008-03-26T13:40:00.002-06:00

Still not a lot of news on the baby front. I still feel pretty good most of the time. Tired, but functional.

I'm having weird cravings off and on. It's all by the power of suggestion too. I see a commercial or billboard and I HAVE to have it. Last night it was stuffing...I was fully prepared to make a box of Stove Top stuffing and eat it all. I still might because I'm still craving it.

I have my first ultrasound on April 1st so I'm getting very excited about it. I hope that he/she/it/they show the goods and is/are growing healthy.

My first appointment with the OB is April 14th so I'll get all the gory details then.

Less than 3 weeks from the half way mark, only 22 and a half weeks left until baby time. LOL

A surprise for my Dad

2008-03-26T13:13:00.002-06:00

I had hoped to get out to BC to see my Dad and help celebrate his 60th birthday. I got the chance a couple weekends ago. I used my AirMiles and flew in under the cover of secrecy. I'd plotted with his girlfriend Karen, his friend Robin and a couple of guests for a surprise lunch party.

It didn't quite go according to plan but it was still a good visit. Dad almost didn't come out for the lunch because he hurt his foot and could barely walk. Karen had to finally spill the beans to get him out of the house. Some of the guests weren't able to attend because of previous plans and because of a medical emergency involving a member of the church.

I was supposed to meet up with some online Mommy friends on the Monday but they all ended up sick or their kids were sick. Unfortunately, we missed out on a lunch but some things can't be helped. I ended up hanging out with my Dad, yapping about everything and nothing. LOL

We had a lovely dinner with Karen and her Mom at Karen's condo in Harrison. Good visit, good company, they had good wine. LOL

I flew home on the Tuesday to a very happy hubby and two little munchkin boys. They survived ok without me...guess I can make this a habit, flying out and leaving them to their own devices. LOL Not likely!

A change to the ordinary

2008-03-26T13:03:00.002-06:00

I've got a few different things to write about so I'll be doing a couple of posts. This is the least important one but still a change from the ordinary. LOL

As I was driving home from Nic's pediatrician appointment, I saw a very dark, African American man walking north in the middle of 124th Street, just north of 111 Avenue, completely STARKERS! NAKED!

I called the police but they'd already been made aware of this man. There were several vehicles that had pulled over and were watching the guy, waiting for the police, making sure he didn't get hurt, so I just kept driving.

Like I said, a BIG change from my ordinary life. LOL

The saga continues

2008-03-14T14:08:00.004-06:00

We saw the GI guy yesterday. He was pretty thorough because he's as flummoxed as we are about why this has happened again.

He had to do a rectal exam because when Nic pushes, something pink and fleshy pokes out. He might have a small bowel prolapse or a polyp or even a hemorrhoid but that is unlikely as little kids don't normally have hemorrhoids. You'd think that Nic would have put up a BIG fight but he was too busy making Goo Goo eyes at the 4th year med student that was working with the GI specialists. Nic told us all the way home that he missed the girl doctor. What a kid, eh? Must take after his grandfather. LOL

Nic had another mountain of blood tests to have run. He ordered a full liver panel (Well DUH!), some nephrology (kidney) tests, a thyroid test, some Vitamin tests, some for amino acids and heaven only knows what else. The vampires at the lab took 8 vials from the little monster. On top of the blood tests, he had to pee in a cup and now I have to get poo samples again. I have to limit his diet for 3 days then for another 3 days as I get the samples. We did this last year and it totally sucks. Especially because he's not in diapers anymore and I have to collect it in a bowl before it hits the toilet water. EWWWWW!

Now, depending on what the ultrasound next week and this latest set of blood tests indicate, we may need to do a liver biopsy. Nic will have to be sedated then with an ultrasound guiding them, they'll stick a HUGE freaking needle into his liver to suck up a sample. Because the liver is so vascular, Nic will be held overnight for observation so he doesn't bleed out. That will be fun as I'll be the size of a house with this pregnancy. How am I supposed to sleep on those piddly "captain's beds" they have on the kid's wards? Its like camping out on a foamy on a mountain ledge. Maybe I'll just cuddle Nic in his bed and sleep with him. LOL More cushions. LOL

So folks, please keep my little tank in your thoughts and keep the good wishes coming. We need answers of some sort or another. Even if it's not the greatest of news, it's an answer and we can start treating him.

I'm not a slacker, Just preoccupied LOL

2008-03-12T14:19:00.002-06:00

I've been accused of being a slacker again and it has only been about 2 weeks since my last report. In those 2 weeks, I've been a little preoccupied...

Some of you may remember WAY back in August/September of last year that Nicholas started having severe belly pains then started vomiting. It took 3 weeks to manifest itself totally but eventually, he turned yellow, his liver was enlarged, his liver enzymes were through the roof and he was pooping old black blood. Well, 2 weeks ago, he started with the belly pain again. It quickly turned to vomiting. A lot and very frequently. By a week and a half, he was turning yellow.

I had been in at the local hospital for Gravol and/or pain relief for him but they didn't do much. They referred us back to the pediatrician but one did listen and did blood tests. Those tests indicated that Nic's liver enzymes were elevating.

Last Saturday, I took him into the Stollery Peds ER and they did more tests. His levels were even higher and he was yellow by this point. They supposedly sent in a referral to see a GI specialist but I've called the specialist myself now and they have no record of the referral. However, after telling the nurse the situation, she said to call the booking office, and get Nicholas an appointment ASAP as per Andrea. I called this morning and we have an appointment for Thursday (tomorrow).

Nic is doing better now though. He was retested on Monday and his liver enzymes are all back to normal. He is not in any crisis at the moment but I want some answers. Last August/September this happened and it took 3 weeks to manifest and 3 weeks to come down to normal again. This time, it happened the same way but at double time; only a week and a half to manifest itself.

Last year I accepted the doctors's response of, "It was probably a virus. It has run it's course. It happened, it's over and he'll be fine. We don't know WHY it happened, it just did." I didn't LIKE it but I accepted the non-answer...This time I won't. There has to be a reason for this to happen a second time.

In the mean time, Nic's pediatrician has ordered an ultrasound to take a look at Nic's liver and some more blood tests. I found out last summer that there is a family history of an abnormality in either the 13th or 14th chromosome. If it is the 13th chromosome, he might have or at least be a carrier of something called Wilson's Disease. The pediatrician said it was a long shot but worth looking into because of the family history of an abnormality.

So, that is why I haven't been very talkative in people's blogs nor writing much in mine. I've been reading, but I haven't been commenting. Hopefully I'll be more social soon. Catch up with everyone later.

All is right in my world

2008-02-28T19:17:00.002-07:00

I'm almost 14 weeks pregnant and I'm still feeling pretty good. No nausea (Sorry Erin and Dani, I know the 2 of you found my nausea and have suffered on my behalf.) and only minor symptoms otherwise.

I'm finally feeling my energy coming back so I'm less likely to need an afternoon nap. I still want to go to bed earlier but I'm growing out of my naps. LOL

Speaking of naps, Nicholas is now night trained too. OK, follow me here, naps = sleeping = nighttime sleep = night trained 3 year old. Nicholas has obviously been watching his big brother and has decided that he wants to be a big boy too and wear underwear to bed at night. He's done really well too; no accidents in 2 weeks. Having said that, he'll probably have an accident tonight. LOL Murphy's Law!

Nicholas is also trying to get the whole Dab Dab and wiping his butt by himself thing done. He wants to go to school like his big brother and he can't go until he can use the toilet by himself and put his undies and pants on again by himself. He's starting to head to the toilet, after informing me, then shutting the door in my face to go pee by himself. He still calls me in to dry him off and wipe his heinie. Good thing he's cute or I wouldn't put up with this crap! (Yes, pun intended!)

Nathan will be assessed by the school district psychologist on March 5th. Sometime in the 3 weeks following that assessment, the psychologist, the teacher, Stephen and I will meet to de-brief and come up with a plan to help Nathan succeed. I dread that appointment as much as I welcome it.

Nathan has been getting really favourable reports from the teacher lately. She has let me know that he's doing more complex patterns than she anticipated and he's really trying hard in copying his words from the board. Nathan was pretty happy; his work got a coveted tiger stamp put on it and the teacher tiger growled at him when she handed it back. His face lights up when he tells me that.

Stephen took me to a work social thing last weekend. We had a small dinner and went 10 pin bowling. My poor arm and shoulder are giving me grief now because I'm not used to that type of motion anymore. Either that or I'm just getting old...I'll be 34 in May. LOL Please don't hurt me if you are older than that...I'm just trying to torture you. LOL

And on the age topic, today is my Dad's 60th birthday. Welcome to Seniorsville! LOL The man still works full-time, Monday through Friday with mentally handicapped adults. He can't be THAT old if he can still handle those challenges. Remember, he went back to school in his mid to late 50s and got a certificate? diploma? to be a Community Support Worker. He has worked exclusively with challenged adults since he graduated. I'm pretty proud of the old guy...maybe he doesn't need to be put down just yet. LOL Love you Dad and Happy Birthday!

12 week appointment

2008-02-19T12:31:00.002-07:00

I had my 12 week prenatal appointment this morning. Oh what FUN! Not really!

I met with the nurse first and did my medical history, labour and delivery history, immediate family history...all the fun details. She did my height and weight and took my blood pressure. low 140s over 84. Little high-ish but nothing too concerning at the moment.

I met with the doctor and she did all her gory stuff. She handed me 2 requisitions for blood work and one for an ultrasound (to be done around 18 weeks, first week of April). I visited the vampires at the hospital to have 4 vials taken. It just so happened that I had been fasting (ran out of time so didn't eat breakfast) so I did the 8Hr fasting glucose test. Whoopie! I didn't have to go back later! Little victories, you know. LOL

We did hear the heartbeat but the little begger wouldn't stop moving so we couldn't get a count on it. We'd hear it then it would move. Whatever it is, it is already a trouble maker.

I should hear from my doctor's office or the OB's office late this week or early next week. Should be interesting.

Stephen plays dirty

2008-02-15T11:32:00.003-07:00

Stephen and I couldn't decide what we were going to do for Valentine's Day. I just figured we'd exchange cards, try to be nice to each other, whatever right? Well he went and surprised me with a pendent. It has one white gold and one rose gold heart with a diamond on a white gold chain.

You could have pushed me over with a feather. I really did not expect this. It's very pretty. Now I feel guilty because I didn't get him anything except a card. Bad Wifey! lol

Update to I Have to Cross the Border

2008-02-14T16:54:00.003-07:00

When I was in to have my blood pressure checked by my doctor, I asked what the results of my second rheumatoid arthritis test was. The results were normal. I do NOT have arthritis.

Having ruled out arthritis, lupus, MS, brain tumours, and anything dietary, it appears I have fibromyalgia. Granted, I am functional as I am at this moment. Being pregnant makes seeking treatment almost impossible so I'll wait and see what happens after the baby is born and after I've done my breastfeeding "thing" for a year. I'll have to see what my body does at that point and decide what I want to do.

I have a name for why my (almost) 34 year old body is acting like an 80 year old's. LOL

Some medical excitement for me

2008-02-14T16:09:00.003-07:00

We've had some excitement over the last little while with me and my pregnancy.

A week ago, I was exhausted. Not just first trimester exhausted, but even pore of my being was exhausted. I folded 10 towels then had to rest. I unloaded the dishwasher then had to rest before filling it up again. I washed 2 bathroom sinks and 2 toilets and needed to rest. It was just a really bad day.

By the time Stephen got home, I was barely able to move. Just as an experiment, I took my blood pressure. I wondered if maybe things were out of whack. Yeah, they were. The lower number of the blood pressure was fine but the upper number kept spiking. Between 143 and 158 over 75 all weekend.

I called Healthlink on Saturday to see when I should be concerned and the nurse said to go in to be assessed that night. I ignored her because I still needed to make supper then we were going to Monster Jam. (The boys loved it)

By Monday, I had received a fair amount of crap from my online friends to go get assessed. I called my doctor and she got me in THAT day. My blood pressure in the office was perfectly normal. She did however say that she firmly believes that I will have to go on something by the end of this pregnancy to control my BP, just nothing right now.

Then, a couple nights ago, I had fallen asleep in my recliner holding Nicholas. Nathan decided to come and sit with me too but he did it in a really rough manner. He ran at me, jumped and came down, full force on my lower belly with both his knees. I bellowed in pain, scared the crap out of Nicholas and used all my willpower to not throttle Nathan where he stood.

Through reading, I found out that the baby should still be nicely protected by my pubic bone. Still, my belly hurt like nothing else. The next morning, I was still in a lot of pain so I broke down and went into the ER. The nurses were equally concerned and even if the baby is fine, there could have been damage to my insides that would have occurred even if I wasn't pregnant.

My nurse in the ER was fabulous. She ended up coming into the room with a Doppler to see if she could find the baby's heart beat. She warned me that she may not find it and that didn't mean the baby was lost, just that it was still too small to be found.

She persisted. She tried angle after angle and moved the wand so many times. She pointed out what all the sounds were until she finally found the heart beat. I was beyond happy to hear that sound.

The doctor finally decided to grace me with his presence and as soon as I saw him I knew I should have a) left or b) insisted on a different doctor. I've dealt with this asshole on a few different occasions and he's been an ass every time.

He spoke to me like I was an idiot. He said that x-rays were out because I was pregnant. Well, DUH! He pointed out that there was no way the baby could have been harmed because of it's low position within the pubis. He wouldn't even think about an ultrasound or make a referal for an ultrasound. Even after I told him point blank that I was concerned also for myself and possible damage to ME. He poked my belly a couple of times and said that it is soft so there can't be any damage. OK, I just asked about it, he didn't have to reprimand me for being concerned about my own bloody health.

The topper on all of this was his insistance that there was no way to track the baby and it's heart beat because it is still so low and small. I told him that the nurse had found it and his face fell. He sputtered a couple of times then yelled that my bladder MUST have been really full and pushed the baby up and out of my pubic bone or I'm totally wrong on my dates. OK, I don't care which one it was, I heard the heart beat and Dr. JerkWad wasn't going to take that away from me.

He told me to leave a urine sample and to take Tylenol for the pain. I had to wait for the nurse to come back to get a label for my little pee jar so I got dressed and waited. When she came in, we chuckled together about how SOME doctors downplay and disregard the nurses' abilities. Those highly trained doctors would be lost without their nurses. I know many nurses end up covering a doctor's ass from time to time. I have great respect for nurses and little to no respect for doctors with either a God complex or an attitude of entitlement.

So, basically, I'm well, the baby's well and all is mostly right in my part of the world. By the way, the heart rate was 168 beats per minute. Some of my friends think this means a girl but Nathan was always up high like that too. He was always doing extreme sports in there so his heart rate was always through the roof. We shall see what comes out in August or September. LOL

Don't take the bullshit handed to you.

2008-02-14T15:52:00.003-07:00

That's the advice given to me by Nathan's pediatrician.

Just after Christmas, I took Nathan to see his pediatrician about maybe getting referals or tests to see why he's struggling so much in school. He appears to be eager and listening but from the time instructions are given to the time he does the stuff, he forgets what he's supposed to be doing. He has no concentration and he seems to forget stuff almost as soon as he's told it.

The doctor told me to get in touch with the school and push to have Nathan assessed through them. He said to push and push and not to take their crap about costs, time, and overload.

I went to the school counsellor and he handed me some paperwork to fill out. I dropped those sheets off about a month ago and I haven't heard anything since. So, I called the counsellor this morning to see what the status was in getting Nathan assessed by the district school psychologist.

The counsellor said that Nathan is on the list to be seen but the psychologist hasn't been in to pick up the paperwork or to do any assessments. He said that she only comes in once or twice a month. One of the points he felt he had to make was that it costs $1000 per child to be assessed and they only assess 18 students per year. So what...? Am I supposed to feel lucky that Nathan's on that list? Oh shit...what if he had been student number 19...He wouldn't be assessed until next year! BULLSHIT!

I'm going to call again next week to see if the psychologist has been in and whether she has interviewed Nathan yet. I'm going to keep calling or going in until they are sick of seeing me.

Nathan is struggling...He is in his second year of kindergarten and I'm not seeing much improvement. Because he's already done this, he'll be put up into Grade 1 whether he's capable of doing the work or not.

Nathan's frustrated so he acts out at home when I try to work with him. If he can't get it, he shuts down. It KILLS me to see this. I feel so helpless.

Hello, my name is Christine and I am a slacker!

2008-02-04T14:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know...I've been SUCH a slacker! LOL I'm not keeping my multitude of fans updated on the mundanity of my life. LOL

In ANY case, I'm doing not too badly overall. I am 10 weeks and 2 days pregnant. So far I have had little to no nausea with this pregnancy. I've had some minor difficulties like a week long bout of carpel tunnel syndrome where I couldn't move my right hand without wincing in agony and some minor low back and joint pain, but they're not really bothering me too much right now. Sure, I'm tired, very VERY tired, but that's been the worst of it over the long term. Other than that, I just feel kind of PMS-like. So, I guess I'm getting off pretty easy for the early part of this pregnancy.

Nathan still wants a girl and Nicholas still wants a boy. Nicholas wants to name the baby Tarzan. Yeah, I can see THAT happening. LOL

All of my weight gain so far has been in the bust. Go figure! LOL Stephen's getting a kick out of the larger bust. It's almost getting perky...Yeah, WHATEVER! All I can say is, Thank God for supportive bras! I think I'll get to reuse mine as bassinets or hammocks for a set of twins. LOL

I'll be heading back to see my regular doctor in 2 weeks so that we can fill out the reams of paperwork required to refer me to an OB. I hope I'll be able to hear the heartbeat soon. It doesn't seem really real until I hear the heartbeat and see the little alien twitching around on the ultrasound.

There has been a request (or 2) that when and if I find out if the baby is a boy or a girl, I not tell publicly. I want to know what it is but it will just be my luck that the baby will be shy and not show its "goods". I have planning to do, doesn't he/she/it realize that?

Toilets, Pee, and Underwear

2008-01-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

Nicholas has finally discovered the joys of not wearing a diaper all day. He is DAY TRAINED!!! He is quite enamoured with wearing big boy underwear and he had a little question..."Why is there a hole in the front of his underwear?" He insisted he needed a new pair and this pair needed to go into the garbage. I had to get Stephen to explain it because I was doubled over laughing. Now it's funny to reach in there and pull out his tally-whacker and let it hang in the breezes. Thank God he only does that at home!

To make pee breaks fun (and because my own bladder has shrunk to the size of a walnut), when Nicholas says he has to go pee, I race him to the washroom. I try to get there first and tell him that I have to pee first. He just laughs at me and tells me that he gets to go first. He knows that I wouldn't make a new toilet user wait. Little turkey!

He's so proud of himself when it comes to the whole toilet routine. He needs to share it with me every...single...time! He's very capable of stripping down to do what needs to be done but he likes Mommy to be there as an audience. Privileged, aren't I? LOL Every once in a while he'll let Daddy in on the experience but mostly, he likes Mommy to be there.

With the toilet training and big boy underwear comes the fascination with his butt. He's proud of his. Very Proud. Ever watch your 3 year old give himself a wedgie then proudly parade around the house, taunting you to "get his butt"? You're missing a funny time. I don't know how many times he's lead one of us on a wild chase around the house. Ah, it gives us grown ups some exercise. LOL His favourite "trick" now is to hide around a corner, jump out in full wedgie, wiggling his tushie at us. Very reminiscent of Nathan who used to hide around corners, strip down and throw his clothes into the room just before jumping out in jumping jack formation to yell, "I GOT NAKED!"

I have a couple of exhibitionists on my hands. And who would have guessed I could have a whole post about my kid's fascination with toilets, underwear and his butt? LOL

Holy Craper-Doodle!

2008-01-08T16:50:00.000-07:00

I did an oopsie! LOL

I found out last night that I'm expecting baby #3. I confirmed it today with an appointment with my doctor. I expect to be due August 30th. This means another hot summer being VERY pregnant.

I just realized that it appears Stephen and I only do the deed when the weather gets cold. Nathan was conceived in November 2000 and was born August 2001. Nicholas was conceived in December 2003 and born September 2004. This one was conceived in November 2007 and, like I said, is due August 2008.

Why do I do this to myself? LOL Of course, I blame Stephen. LOL

I think we had jinxed ourselves. I had donated the majority of the baby and toddler clothes to charity, we'd been discussing how the boys are getting old enough to appreciate and remember vacations (Disneyland was in the works for this year or next), we're happy with 2 boys and all their challenges, and Stephen had agreed that if I made the appointment, he'd get snipped. I think we're a little late on THAT one. LOL

I still have the big stuff, crib, high chair, stroller, and exersaucer but we'll still need to get a new carseat and a bunk bed set up for the boys.

Nathan wants a girl and Nicholas wants a boy. Stephen and I just want healthy. Granted, after 2 boys, I'd be over the moon with an infusion of pink but healthy is the first priority. In the mean time, I'm booking Stephen's appointment. LOL

So much for losing 30 pounds, eh? LOL

I need to cross the border

2007-12-20T11:37:00.000-07:00

I saw my el doctoro this morning to discuss my latest round of tests to try and figure out why my body acts like the body of a woman twice my age.

Apparently, one of my blood tests came back borderline for rheumatoid arthritis. A negative result is under 20 and my level was right at 20. There was another test run at some recent point that also gives an indication of RA and that was negative.

So, I left the office with a requisition to re-test my RA factor in mid to late January.

The saga continues...MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Nic's Gastroscopy

2007-12-19T11:51:00.001-07:00

I took Nicholas in for his gastroscopy on Dec 17th. Like the last 2 times he's been in for surgery, they took his vitals, had me put him in jail striped pjs (the blue ones are sized for a 6 year old and Nic is almost too big for the shirt. LOL He's a MOOSE!) The nurse put the EMLA cream on the back of both his hands and covered them with the plastic bandages (Tegaderm, I think is what they are called) and send us back out to the playroom/waiting room to wait for his name to be called.

As usual, the day ward was running late and Nic was taking in almost an hour after he was scheduled to be taken in. I held him while they poked his hand for the saline block/IV port and as they pushed the sleepy meds. I don't care how "prepared" you are for it, when your child goes dead limp in your arms and their eyes roll back in their heads, it is DISTURBING. I held it together though because I knew that this one was a minor thing.

About an hour later, the nurses called me into the recovery area and I sat with Nic until he woke up. He was nicely sleeping and would NOT wake up. He was happy to be off in Dreamland. However, when he finally decided to grace us with is consciousness, he was up and ready to roll. He quickly polished off a glass of apple juice and slowly savoured an orange Popsicle. The nurse told us to get him up and walking so we did 3 circuits of the recovery area and then they released him.

All in all, he came through it like a pro. According to the doctor, his upper GI (esophagus, stomach and duodenum) is healthy and pristine. He couldn't find the source of all the bleeding that has been happening on and off since August. Nicholas isn't bleeding right now so I'm going to leave it alone to see if it starts up again. If it does, the doctor will order a colonoscopy or a swallowed capsule that will take pictures all the way through the digestive tract. Neither one seems like a fun time for a 3 year old. At least I know that they'd knock him out for the colonoscopy. The prep for that is horrible and being semi-conscious for it isn't a picnic either.

Go ahead, ask me how I know. LOL

Nathan

2007-12-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

What am I going to do with this kid?

We got his report card at the end of November and the parent/teacher meeting the following week. Considering this is Nathan's second year in kindergarten, I was expecting a pretty good report...I was wrong.

Out of the 20 letter sounds they had studied (by the time of the meeting), Nathan could only identify 8. When he gets instructions, he looks like he's listening, he seems to be comprehending but when he goes off to do what he's been told to do, he blanks out. If you lead him with one instruction at a time, he can do it but 2 or more instructions and he loses it.

The teacher is checking into what Nathan has been assessed for with his hearing. Was he assessed only for word sounds and simple hearing or did they also assess for retention. Nathan's teacher isn't sure if it is the fact that the instructions are in French or if there is a misfire, missed connection that is the problem.

We are trying an experiment with Nathan. Because his teacher is also the English kindergarten teacher, she offered to let Nathan come in on the English days to see if he starts to "get it" or not. He'll continue in the French class as well so he'll be going every day rather than 2 or 3 days a week. This would at least show us if it is the French that is the problem or if there is something else happening. Maybe he's just not cut out for French Immersion. We'll have to see. This is his second week of trying the English class as well as the French class.

Nathan is also getting over a bad cough. He still coughs some but he's well on his way to healthy. Or as close to healthy as he can get. LOL He's not exactly known for being "normal". LOL Takes after his Mother.

Nicholas

2007-12-10T11:33:00.000-07:00

Nicholas goes in next Monday for his gastroscopy. He had his pre-op blood tests today. He's doing better when it comes to the "pokies" but he's still not very happy about them.

He's got a really nasty cough right now. I'm hitting him hard with the inhalers and whatever else I can find (without double dosing) to make him better before next week.

As per usual, he has to get really bad before he gets better. He has hit the stage of coughing until he vomits and now I'm hoping the worst is over and he's on the road to recovery.

Well, I know what it ISN'T

2007-12-10T11:23:00.001-07:00

I have FINALLY had my MRI done. The results are in and I do NOT have MS. Yeah me! LOL So, we've been able to rule out anything wrong in the brain (MS, stroke, tumour) and anything dietary (diabetes, cholesterol, vitamin/mineral deficiencies) so what does that leave me with?

I saw my doctor again today to discuss this and she sent me for blood tests. She's attempting to rule out lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. When those are rule out, I get left with a diagnosis of fibromyalgia. Hopefully the results will come soon.

So basically, I'm pushing the doctor to listen to me and to hear that I'm having troubles and I'm pushing for an explaination. I'm not sure where this will get me in the long run but putting a name to this will be one step in the right direction.

Nic's Bad Morning

2007-11-29T11:26:00.001-07:00

Nicholas has been having a hard day.

He woke up on the wrong side of the bed and it has taken him over 3 hours to get happy. He actually went to bed earlier than usual and slept all night so I don't know what his issue was.

After I had gotten him up, I changed his bum and got him dressed. I asked him if he wanted to watch kid shows with Nathan or come into my room as I was getting dressed. He chose to come with me. I sat him down on my bed and all heck broke loose. He started whining and crying and yelling at me to pick him up because his feet hurt. This is a rather common complaint of his and I don't know what is causing it.

I continued getting dressed and talking to him. I told him that I just needed to get dressed and that I'd pick him up after I was dressed. WRONG answer Mommy! His hysterics went from bad to worse. Because there was no reason for this, I warned him to settle down or he was going back into his room. He continued the ranting so I picked him up and took him to his room. I just barely got out of his room and back into mine when I hear his little preschooler voice, "Stupid F***ing Mommy!"

Needless to say, I was stunned. I went into his room and gave him a smack on the diapered tushie. I turned him to face me and said that he is NOT allowed to talk to me like that. He can be angry but he cannot say bad things.

Nicholas continued his feet hurt hysterics while dropping Nathan off at school and at WalMart. He likes to THINK that he is in charge. Unless he's being loud or disrespectful, I just laugh at him. Little boys being demanding is one thing (I want this, I want that) but screaming and temper tantrums and name calling are not acceptable.

Our final stop this morning was Blockbuster. Nicholas was still doing the feet dragging and demanding to be picked up. He also caught sight of the Shrek toys and candies so he started demanding those. I told him flat out that no he wasn't going to get the toys and candies because of his behaviour. He hadn't EARNED any rewards today. He was pretty mad by that point.

After I paid for the rentals and started to walk out, he followed me yelling because I wouldn't buy him a gumball from the machine. I got to the van and helped him in as he said, "If you don't get me a candy, I'm going to call you a bad name, Mommy."

What could I do? I cracked up laughing and said, "Thanks for the warning, sweetie." The lady getting into the next car heard this little exchange and started laughing too.

Do you think he learned from this morning's little swearing incident? Is that why he thought to give me notice about his need to voice his frustration? I don't know...Ever since he turned 3, he's been more lippy and demanding. I thought 2 was the bad year, 3 looks even worse. BLAH! LOL

My Red Butted Baboon

2007-11-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

My poor littlest monkey has a VERY sore tushie!

With all that he's been through lately, acid poops are not helping. His little tushie is so red and inflamed, that even putting cream on it causes fits of screaming and tears. He's so sore that after a diaper change and cream application, he can't walk. When I make him stand, he stands like he's just gotten off a horse; bowlegged. He'll try to walk a couple of steps but ends up just waddling bowlegged. He absolutely SHAKES from the pain. I'd get video tape of it if I didn't feel so bad for him.

I've tried Li'l Goat's diaper cream and now I'm trying Palmer's Bottom Butter.

He looks a little better today but he's still pretty sensitive right up the centre.

Cute site suggestion

2007-11-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

A fellow blogger and fellow Mommy, introduced me to a cute site called Only A Parent. It is cartoons of the crazy things only a parent would say. Her cartoon suggestion is on today and mine is supposed to be up tomorrow.

Please, go and support this very cute and funny site.

http://onlyaparent.com

Please laugh with me on this one

2007-11-11T13:43:00.000-07:00

It has finally happened to Nicholas...He has had to have a foreign object removed from his nose. Somehow, a Fruit Loop found its way into Nic's right nostril. LOL Thank goodness I was able to do the extraction myself with a little help from Nathan. It was in there pretty far too. I think he had pushed it in further as he tried to pick it out. Poor kid! LOL Tweezers and a mini flashlight were involved in the process.

Both the boys are coming up with VERY creative ways that the Fruit Loop could have gotten in the nostril. Nathan's explanation involves the Fruit Loop being balanced on Nic's nose and Nic lifting his face and the cereal ROLLING into the nostril. Nicholas's version is that it SHOT in there when he sneezed. He sneezed and the Fruit Loop flew out (from where I don't know), bounced off the chair and went into his nose.

Nathan did something similar a few years back. I have removed Tic Tacs and a wad of gum from in his nose. Again, a pair of tweezers and a mini flashlight came in handy.

What is it with kids and shoving food or toys in open orifices? I don't remember doing anything like that. Maybe it's a boys thing.

My boys

2007-11-09T12:29:00.000-07:00

Nathan finally lost his first tooth. He wasn't playing with the wiggly tooth as much as I thought he would so it took 2 weeks for it to come out. I think he finally got tired of me asking about it so he pushed it out with his tongue.

He left a nice crater behind and the new tooth is breaking through the gums. He's a little worried because it's coming in further back than his other teeth. I've tried to reassure him that as he grows, his mouth will grow and the tooth will move forward into a larger opening. Either that or he'll be a tin grin like I was. LOL His worry is that it will grow too big and cut through is tongue and roof of the mouth. Interesting image, eh?

As for Nicholas, we finally got in to see the GI specialist. He has scheduled Nic for a gastroscopy on Dec 17th. He'll put a scope down Nic's throat to see if he can see what is bleeding and what can be done to fix the problem. The scope will only take a look from the mouth to just below the stomach. It is most likely that this is where the bleeding is coming from because it is old blood that he is passing.

We could have a barium swallow done and have the x-rays to take a look at the rest of the small intestine but it would be fairly high radiation for him. We could also have him scoped from the bottom up but that would be more to reassure me that there isn't a tumor in the colon. It is so VERY unlikely to be a colon tumor or have anything to do with the lower small intestine and large intestine.

He is not at Death's door so we're starting "small" and we'll progress as we see the need.

I have the feeling that the doctor is doing this more to shut me up than because he sees the need for it. Although I hate having to put Nic under anesthetic, we need to know what is bleeding and why. Once we know that, we can figure out a way to fix it.

I'm worried because of what I don't know right now. I'm going to feel like a complete moron and worry wart if they find nothing. On the flip side, I don't want to be the parent that is forced to face a serious illness in her child that could have been fixed easily if only it had been caught earlier.

I'll take any and all positive vibes on this one, my friends.

Stephen

2007-11-09T12:21:00.000-07:00

I dropped Stephen off at the airport this morning for his VERY LAST rotation at the mine. He will be home November 23rd and will start his new job in Edmonton on November 26th. He'll still be doing warehouse work but it'll be closer to home. He's been hired at Ryerson. From what I understand, they deal with sheet metal and pipes. I'm sure there is more, I just don't know about it yet.

After a year of him being gone for 2 weeks then home for 1 week, having him home every night and weekend is going to be interesting. LOL I think it'll be good for the boys to have Stephen home every night.

This past year has been a series of new opportunities, new difficulties, and new discoveries. I'm proud of the work Stephen has done and how well the boys and I managed. The future will hold new experiences and new opportunities. I'm excited to see what happens next.

Still waiting

2007-11-01T12:20:00.000-06:00

We're still playing the waiting game and dancing with the GI specialist for Nicholas.

The past couple of days he's been clear of blood in his poops but he doesn't look like he's processing his food very well right now. His iron levels are low so he's on iron supplements. He's complaining more often that his belly hurts but he's not writhing in pain each night yet. I really hope it doesn't get that far again. His chief complaint lately is that his feet hurt. He usually says this when he's tired and doesn't want to walk anymore. He gets tired a lot.

The nurse for the GI specialist is really very nice but she's essentially the middle man/woman. I tell her the symptoms and situation, she tells the Doctor, he writes a note and she calls me to let me know what's happening. At this point, I'm almost ready to camp out on the clinic's doorstep. I know that Stephen is. I don't care that he's had a couple of decent days, I want to know why he keeps "relapsing" and bleeding into his gut. I'm waiting for the nurse's phone call about an appointment; hopefully they'll fit him in next week.

Happy Halloween

2007-10-31T22:30:00.000-06:00

Happy Halloween my pretties!

Because Stephen doesn't get home until Friday, I got to take the boys Trick or Treating by myself. Nathan was a burgundy dragon with a purple tummy and yellow/gold wings. Nicholas was a green dinosaur. Because the costumes were fun fur and padded, they only needed to wear long sleeved shirts and pants under them. I went as the frazzled and sleep deprived Mother of three. I used our old Snugglie and my old Cabbage Patch Doll. I wore my flannel pj pants, a t-shirt and my housecoat. I thought it was funny! Some of the neighbours thought it was cute too.

I fully expected to just do our street and be done with it. We could have stopped because the bags were pretty full after just our street.

People were handing out HANDFULS of candy this year and full size chocolate bars. Holy MAN! We stopped at home to dump the bags and the boys decided that it would be fun to go to another neighbourhood. Nicholas was starting to peter out so I put him on his tricycle that I can push and we headed to the "adult oriented" neighbourhood up the street.

Even here they got a decent haul. Nicholas was up and down on whether he wanted to get candy or not. I think that he wanted to get more but he just didn't have the strength. Nathan was very hard to contain. He wanted to run to each house so that no one would run out before he got there. Typical 6 year old. LOL

I swear, after dumping the bags, we filled a Blue Recycling Box. Now the treats have been sorted and inspected and I'm sure there will be candy until next Halloween. At least there will be LOTS for Stephen to pick through when he gets home. LOL I think I'll send some up north with him when he heads back. I love good ideas!

I hope everyone has had a spooktacular Halloween and that no one got egged or had property damage. Little yahoo delinquents. (No, no bitterness here! LOL)

Clearing the air

2007-10-29T15:12:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking lately (scary, I know) and I've decided that I need to clear something up to myself and to my Dad (who might be reading this).

A ways back, I posted the lyrics to a song and said that I was thinking about my Dad's girlfriend. It came off pretty sour and hurtful. So that is what I'm trying to clear up.

To make myself clear, I don't dislike Karen. I've never met the woman. That is what I think is part of the problem. Because I've never met her, I only have what my Dad says about her (which is pretty limited) and what thoughts go racing through my mind. I don't have anything to base my opinions on. I can't tell what her intentions are or what kind of person she is.

My fears are what drive me insane. I'm afraid that she's going to try and replace my Mom. I have no basis for this fear but it is mine none the less. I have a lot of pessimistic thoughts about this because I've heard, seen and been a part of several messy family events. My Dad is the only family that talks to me on a regular basis. He's my only remaining parent and he's got a life that I'm not part of. Sometimes I feel like I don't know him anymore and that he's only calling me because he feels obligated to. In my mind, I know that this isn't true but sometimes my heart breaks to think about what we've both lost.

It definitely doesn't help that we live in 2 different provinces. If we lived closer, I'm sure there would be less fear on my part. I would have had the opportunity to meet Karen and maybe start a relationship/friendship/mutual acceptance or whatever.

So ultimately, it looks like my fear is driving my obsession with my Dad's relationship. This is the first long term, fairly serious relationship he's had (or at least told me about, LOL) since my Mom died. I'm just scared that I'm going to lose my last parent. Again, there is no basis for this and it is totally irrational but it is the way I feel.

Maybe next year there will be an opportunity for us to meet and I can put my fears to rest.

What the teacher WISHES she could write

2007-10-23T22:10:00.000-06:00

Dear Parent/Guardian:

Mrs. Kenney's class trip to the fire station is [why Mrs. Kenney is dreading] Tuesday morning. The children will walk there [and/or hop, skip, and lie on the sidewalk, sobbing that it wasn't Sienna's turn to be Door Holder]. If you'd like to chaperone, please [for the LOVE of God!] tell Mrs. Kenney.

At the station, Fire Captain Joe [or whoever draws the short straw] will teach the class fire-safety basics. [Prepare to hear your child bellow, "Stop, drop and roll!" 36 times a day, as well as wake you regularly at 2 A.M. convinced he smells smoke even though absolutely nothing is burning except your own exhausted eyeballs.] The captain will also hand out Smokey Bear posters, pamphlets, and colouring books [that, ironically, will make your home even more flammable].

After punch and candy provided [with remarkably poor timing] by the station, the children will get to aim a running fire hose [at Mrs. Kenney], meet the firehouse dog [and pull his tail], and try on a real firefighter hat [that they'll refuse to take off without howls and tears]. Then Mrs. Kenney will take [two extra-strength Excedrin and] a group picture beside the hook and ladder. Prints will be sent home [assuming that, unlike last year, five boys don't drop their pants just as the shutter clicks, eager to demonstrate how they would put out the fire by peeing on it].

Sincerely,

Patty [rhymes with "Batty"] Kenney

-----------------------------------------------------------

My child, ___________________, has my permission to go on the fire station field trip.

My child, ___________________, will be unable to go on the fire station field trip. [YES!!!!!]

Date:______________
Parent's/Guardian's signature_______________________

Please enclose $2 to help cover the cost of post-field trip refreshments *

*[for Mrs. Kenney, who will be doing Jell-O shots the moment school lets out]

OK, I'm excited again

2007-10-20T14:25:00.000-06:00

Nathan has his FIRST loose tooth! It is the left front tooth on the bottom. He was eating a string cheese and came running to me asking if his mouth was bleeding. He had bitten the cheese and it came away with some blood on it. I took a look and THERE it was! He'll probably keep it still for a couple of days but it is definitely coming out.

I wonder if he's gonna freak out when he sees the blood and the open space when it finally comes out. How much does the Tooth Fairy give a kid for the first lost tooth? And then how much for the rest of them?

Boring General Update

2007-10-20T11:41:00.000-06:00

I'm back, again. LOL Stephen was just home for his week off so I try to leave the computer alone when he's home. Now, for a general update...boring though it will be.

I'm amazed but we got samples from Nicholas in record time. He was in the ER on a Tuesday and provided the first sample the same day. Then I had to put him on a restricted diet for 3 days and for the days to get 3 samples from him. The last sample was provided on the Sunday and taken to the lab. Now I wait for results. Because the hospital hasn't called yet (5 days later) I have to assume that there was nothing to find. I put in a request for the results to go to Nic's doctor but I haven't heard anything from them either.

In the meantime, Nic is acting fine. He's doing everything he normally does. However, he looks like he's been run over. He's chronically pale with dark or purple circles under his eyes. He looks like he doesn't sleep even though he'll usually nap for a bit in the afternoon or evening then still get (or try to get) 10 hours at night.

Nathan has been acting out at home. He's fine at school apparently but at home he's a bloody maniac! Because Nathan is a whirling dervish, Nicholas feels the need to keep up and that leads to damage. I have to go around the house now and fill all the wall dings, sand, prime and paint. Stephen and I took away the offending toys (weapons of the thrown variety) and I'm making the boys earn them back.

I'm feeling not too bad. Very little on the MS symptom list which is nice. So I'm either in a remission of sorts or I don't have MS. Let's just keep our fingers crossed on that one.

With the weather change, I'm feeling achy. The walk down the stairs in the morning is already getting torturous. I feel like I'm walking on bare bone in my feet. I'm kind of glad that I'm on a low dose aspirin at the moment. It kind of takes the edge off.

On the positive side, I've now lost my first 10% of weight. From my heaviest (I was pregnant with Nicholas) I have lost 55 pounds. Since I've actually started trying to lose weight, I have lost 25 pounds (that where the 10% comes in). I got a membership to the local rec centre and while Stephen was home, I was able to go have my workouts and not be worried about time limits. Now that he's gone, I have to put the monkeys in childcare. I didn't feel like the workouts were really doing anything but I took my measurements this morning and I've lost a couple of inches already. Half an inch here, half an inch there...it all adds up folks!

I promised myself a reward after my first 10% lost so now I have to find time to go and do it. I'm going to have my nails done. Pretty hands always seem to make me feel good.

On the work front, Stephen probably only has 2 or 3 more rotations left in his contract. Right now, it looks like he'll be done in the middle of December. I'm hoping that during this rotation, he is able to talk to the "powers that be" up there and that they have an offer for him. A job closer to home would be fine too, but I'd hate to see him backtrack on his abilities strictly to be closer to home. I know what Stephen's capable of and I hope that businesses start to recognize his abilities too.

OK, so if you made it this far without falling asleep, I applaud you. I've got to get back to the wall repairs or I'll never get them done.

Oh, Son Of A BEEEEEEP!

2007-10-09T17:22:00.001-06:00

OK, now I'm SURE that I've pissed off the Karma Gods or the Gods of Fate.

Nicholas has been sick again for 3 weeks or so. Nathan caught something at school and infected Nic. Nic's cough has been going from bad to worse then a little better (just to play tricks on my hopefulness) and now he's worse again.

I think I've had maybe 3 or 4 hours of very interrupted sleep a night for the past few days because Nic wakes up coughing and spewing. I was simply going to call his Dr and get an appointment until he started with the BLACK FLECKED POOPS AGAIN!!! It was only a month ago that he pulled this one me.

So, after taking Nathan to school and getting my new debit card from the bank, I took Nic to the local hospital. I spent a good portion of the day there and nothing has really been figured out. Chest x-rays look clear and belly x-rays just showed a lot of gas in his intestines (probably the reason he was tooting up a stink storm in the ER, LOL).

I now have to privilege of getting stool samples again! Oh Joy! Oh Joy! This time around, he has to be on a restricted diet for 3 days before taking samples and then for the 3 days I'm collecting samples. No red meat, no bananas, no grapes, no melons, and no alcohol. Poor kid can't get a beer! LOL

Because of these restrictions, I have to just keep all his favourite stuff out of the house. Man oh man, I hope he will poop on a regular schedule. Yeah right...my kid do ANYTHING normally? Not on your life! LOL

Tell me when I can freak out

2007-10-08T16:19:00.000-06:00

Why me? I'm generally a good person. Most of the time any way. LOL

I got an automated phone call this morning from my bank saying that I may have shopped at a store that is under investigation for debit card copying. As a precaution, the bank would reduce my withdrawal amounts until I could come in to get a new card and PIN. No one answered at the Loss Prevention area so I figured I'd just talk to the people at the branch tomorrow.

Because of the idea my card may have been compromised, I ran to the computer to check my on-line banking records. Everything was checking out nicely until I saw a transaction dated for tomorrow (the first business day after the long weekend). $102 was withdrawn and I know I didn't do it. I figured it couldn't have been Stephen either because there is no reason for him to take out cash while he's on site. I've since checked with him and he verified that he hasn't taken out any money.

I called the phone banking and let them know that I didn't make that transaction and I wanted my money back. The lady could see on my file that there was a possible compromise of my card and immediately "statused" my card so no more transactions could go through. She then opened an investigation for me so that I could try and get my money back.

I haven't been out of the house since the 5th because Nathan, Nicholas and I have all been sick. I asked if the lady on the phone could tell me which store the compromise happened at and she didn't have that info. She said it was probably at one of the last couple places I shopped at.

In any case, I have to wait for 14 business days to see if the bank will return my money. Because there is the possible card copying note on my file and I immediately called about the fraudulent transaction, the lady on the phone said it sounds pretty open and shut. We'll have to see since I don't have much faith in "the man".

To top this off, I had forgotten about another issue from a couple of months ago. I received a letter from the health group that runs the hospitals in Edmonton. Apparently, last May, 3 or 4 laptops were stolen from one of their offices and some of the files had my info on them. They reassured me that the risk was low because there are 2 levels of password protections on the laptops. They did warn me though to keep an eye out for suspicious mail, credit applications, etc to guard against identity theft.

So, am I just unlucky or have I really pissed off the Karma Gods again? LOL

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

2007-09-30T13:35:00.000-06:00

OK, OK, OK. I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard.

Nicholas is making HUGE strides with using the toilet. All of a sudden it has just clicked for him. He's asking to use the toilet to pee but he hasn't pooped yet. Sure, he's farted and a turd has plopped out but no full dump yet.

Just now, he said that he had to poop in the toilet. So I ran to the can with him to help him take off his Cars undies and put him on the toilet. He sat for a short time and only squeezed out a tiny bit of pee. As he hopped down, I asked if he needed a diaper to go poop. He insisted that no, he was fine in his underwear. I told him that I didn't want to see poop in his underwear either. No pee and no poop in the underwear!

I asked again if he needed a diaper on in case he had to poop and he said, "No diaper Momma. I no poop!"

Then he turned his back, pulled up his t-shirt, bent over and pulled his butt cheeks apart saying, "See. No poops!"

Oh man! My belly hurts from laughing so hard.

Here you go, you vultures!

2007-09-28T18:56:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm here. Not entirely of my own desire, but hey. LOL

I've been busy. I'm not exactly sure what I've been busy doing, but I haven't seemed to have much time.

Stephen was just home for a week. We took the boys to Galaxyland in West Edmonton Mall and rode the new coaster with Nathan. Between Stephen and me, Nathan rode it 6 times. He LOVED it. Stephen and I are getting old so we could only ride it once each then we needed a rest. Our stomachs were turning just a little.

I finally got my memorial tattoo done. It's still pretty raw so I'll take photos after it's all healed up. Curt only took about 2.5 hours to do it and charged me less than $300. I'm very happy with it.

I finally got a letter letting me know the when and where for my MRI. November 24th Hopefully this means I'll have an idea of what is wrong with me by Christmas. I know that the MRI isn't going to tell me everything...being a few sandwiches short of a picnic isn't going to show up on the MRI. Neither is the Bitch gene. I have high hopes though.

The boys are both sick. Nathan caught something on his first bloody day at school and now Nicholas is infected too. Nathan had a massive asthma attack one night that finally subsided a little when he finally let me give him his Ventolin. Nicholas woke up this morning with a similar attack. He at least lets me give him his meds. Of course I'm that much bigger than he is and he doesn't have much of a choice. LOL

If this is the way we're starting out the fall season, I dread what winter will bring. I hope because the boys have asthma diagnoses and they're on a treatment action plan, we'll have a less illness infused winter than the last one. Having said that, I'm sure I've jinxed myself and the boys will find some rare malady to come down with. It just keeps me on my toes I guess. Ha Ha!

Yes, I've been slacking

2007-09-19T14:48:00.000-06:00

I've taken a bit of a break from blogging lately because I've just been feeling really negative lately. I don't want this to become a boring bitching blog so I'm avoiding it until I'm feeling more happy.

I do continue to read everyone else's blogs and comment sometimes. I'm still around but I'm just not up to spilling my guts right now. It could be NASTY!

Health Update for Nic and Me

2007-09-08T12:38:00.000-06:00

Nicholas went to see the GI specialist on Thursday. As I figured, the doctor said that it was most likely a virus and it has run its course. One liver enzyme is back to normal and the other is coming down nicely. When he was in the ER, the one was at over 500 when it should be less than 50. The following day, the result was in the 400s and fours days after that, it was down to 133. It is still too high, but it's heading in the right direction. Nic will be fine.

I mentioned that he's still having a little black blood in his poops so the doctor sent us home with a couple of sample jars to get samples for the lab. Nic also needs to have another blood test on Monday to make sure that last liver enzyme is back to normal.

As follow-up, because of the blood still in the poops, the doctor prescribed Zantac. He THINKS that the blood may be because of the vomiting. Nic may have made a little tear in his esophagus and it is still oozing a little. The Zantac will cut down on the stomach acids so that it can heal. If Nic continues with black blood in his poops, then the doctor may need to put in a scope and see what's happening. I doubt that will be necessary though.

As for me, I saw the neurologist on Friday. I showed her my journal of symptoms for August and described how this all came about. She had a tech come in and do some nerve shock tests on my right arm and leg. The results there looked good. "No myelin degeneration detected." Basically, the nerve sheaths are not showing any problems.

However, because of the way the symptoms came on, peaked and have come down, the doctor thinks it would be a good idea to send me for an MRI. She sounded like this was more to rule out MS rather than to diagnose it.

Sounds encouraging, doesn't it? It is, but it also isn't. I'm happy that the neurologist thinks it probably isn't MS (a life long and life altering degenerative disease) but I'm also frustrated about what it could be instead. She admitted that often this type of stuff isn't diagnosed as anything specific. Basically, "Suck it up and deal" or "You're a total head case".

I'll have to see what happens when I finally get the MRI and see what the results are.

Nic's at it again

2007-09-04T13:57:00.000-06:00

Nicholas gave me another health scare and we're not entirely out of it yet.

He has been complaining for about 3 weeks that his belly hurts. Every night he'd lay in my arms, writhing in pain, moaning, groaning and crying. On top of this, he'd have isolated vomiting spells. Out of the blue, he'd throw up then be fine again until that night when he was in belly agony.

On Aug 30th, he was acting normally; playing, fighting with Nathan, etc. He didn't eat or drink much but he seemed fine. Around supper time, I did a diaper change and there were black "fibres" in his poop. It looked like he'd eaten a handful of fine sawdust. I tossed him into the tub to clean him up and I realized that his skin was yellow. I was in denial and thought maybe it was his tan fading. I had Nathan get into the tub too and it was then that I realized that yes, Nic was yellow and it WASN'T a faded tan. He looked up at me and I could see that the whites of his eyes were yellowed too.

I got the boys out of the tub, dressed and started to take him to the hospital but just as I was about to put his shoes on, he threw up. Quick clean up again.

I got him to the hospital and had about a 45 minute wait. The resident examined him as soon as we got in there and I showed the poop sample. (Yes, I brought some so that the doctor would understand what I was talking about! LOL) The resident confirmed my fears that this was blood. It was probably from higher up in the digestive tract so that the stomach and intestines had broken it down a bit.

The Doctor came in and between the blood in the poop, the jaundice and a palpable liver, he decided to run several tests. Nic was poked, prodded and ultimately found to have elevated liver enzymes as well as the enlarged liver.

They started the process of admitting him so that he could undergo an ultrasound and maybe other tests the following morning. We were taken up to our room and as they were bringing the bed in for him, the GI residents came back and said that the had conferred with each other and their supervisor and another doctor in on Nic's case and they collectively agreed that Nic was safe to go home and undergo the tests as an outpatient. They did one more blood test before they let us leave.

Nic had to have another blood test run on Friday the 31st and again today, Sept 4th. He has an appointment with the GI specialist on Sept 6th. I have a mountain of questions that I want answers to.

Nic appears to be doing better since the ER visit (and almost admission). He hasn't vomited since then and he hasn't been complaining about his belly. He is not yellowed anymore (maybe a tiny bit in his eyes) but he still has the blood in his poop.

I want to know what happened, why did it happen, and do I need to be watching for this again.

I wish I had caught it on camera

2007-08-26T23:35:00.000-06:00

This evening, Nicholas brought me his cup and asked for a drink. I asked him what he wanted in his cup and he said, "Juicey!"

I had to inform him that there was no more juice so it had to be milk or water. He toddles off into the kitchen and opens the fridge. I figure he's making sure Mommy isn't being a liar, but no he was up to no good!

He walks back in to the living room with his cup under one arm and tells me he wants a beer in his cup. I look up to see him carrying one of Stephen's bottles of beer. There is my not quite 3 year old holding out a beer for me to dump into his cup. He was serious; he wanted a beer in his cup!

What could I do? I cracked up laughing. Nicholas just stood there grinning from ear to ear not quite understanding why I was in hysterics. He was very proud of himself for finding something more interesting to drink than milk or water.

Only one of my kids, eh? LOL

The latest round of doctor's appointments

2007-08-24T15:29:00.000-06:00

I realize that I could have a second blog, entirely focused on my boys and their medical crises.

On Wednesday, Nicholas had a follow-up ultrasound on his damaged kidney. It marked 18 months since his surgery. This ultrasound looked very much like the last 2 ultrasounds so we are now stretching out his follow-up appointments to once a year rather than every 6 months.

The left kidney is still slightly dilated but it is mild to moderate hydronephrosis now rather than severe hydronephrosis. There is no excess build up of scar tissue that would narrow the repair sites and make another surgery a necessity. At this point, Nicholas is as healthy as he can be.

Today, both the boys were assessed at a Pediatric Allergy and Asthma Clinic. They both got skin tests for the most common allergy triggers (pollen, dogs, cats, horses, mold, and a few others) and they had no reactions. Because both of them have been exposed to nuts we didn't even bother with nut allergy tests.

As for the asthma, yes it seems they have it. They are mostly triggered by colds and exercise. The doctor is treating the boys aggressively with the inhalers and in 2 months we'll reassess them and reduce the dosages accordingly. We're just trying to get their symptoms in control then we'll reduce the meds to the minimum required by each boy.

After that fun appointment, I took Nicholas to his pediatrician to have his stitches removed. It took all of 30 seconds to do and Nic didn't really fuss too much except for the idea of a pair very pointy scissors coming straight for his eyes. We blinded him with a spotlight (better lighting for the doctor) and while Nic's eyes were closed, the doctor did what had to be done. Nic has a thin scab under the eyebrow and I think the scar will hardly be noticeable.

I am now completely exhausted and hoping the boys will go to bed early so I can follow suit. It isn't likely though since both of them slept in the van on the ride home from the city. I hate admitting it, but I foresee a late night ahead of me. LOL

Next week holds an appointment to meet Nathan's new teacher and 2 weeks from today is my neuro appointment. WeeHee! LOL

Let Sleeping Boys Lie

2007-08-23T13:49:00.000-06:00

I've always loved the sight of my boys when they are sleeping. I have a small mountain of photos of the boys sleeping. They have slept in strange places (yes, he's sleeping standing up)

in strange positions

and/or with funny faces.

Nathan is not difficult to rouse unless it is for school. He's kind of a light sleeper most of the time. Nicholas on the other hand can and will sleep through just about anything.

I have made the mistake of nursing my boys to sleep in their infancy then cuddling them to sleep later on. With Nathan, after he fell asleep it was into the crib with no detours, no bumps. If he got jiggled, he'd wake up. Nicholas is so the opposite. After he falls asleep, I take him up to his room, lay him on his dresser to change his diaper (and sometime even have to put jammies on him), then I pick him up again and put him into his bed. He barely moves through all of this. When he sleeps, he sleeps like the dead. LOL

Getting him to wake up is nothing less than a job in itself. You have to get creative. Subtlety will not work. Soft talking and a back rub...nothing. Kisses and tickling his face...mildly annoying, he'll turn away but keep snoring. Jumping on his bed, straddling his sleeping form and bouncing to jiggle the bed...sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. Physically rolling him over, picking him up, pushing around the bed will eventually work but then he's kind of crabby at first.

The funniest one though was what my hubby did. He went into Nic's room and quickly grabbed his belly shaking him and yelling, "BAAAAAHHHHHH!"

NOTHING HAPPENED! Nic didn't even jump. Stephen and I just looked at each other and started to laugh. We knew he was alive but he was seriously unconscious. It took some extra work to wake Nic up that morning but he woke up in good spirits.

We've tormented the boys after a long car ride too. They will be sound asleep when we pull into the garage so we'll open their doors and start to yell and scream like we're about to fall off a cliff. Nathan wakes up immediately, confused then gives us crap for scaring him. Nic will sometimes wake up but most of the time he'll just flicker his eyes and go back to sleep.

What is nice is that when Nicholas wakes up, he's usually in good spirits. Even when we have to wake him up before he's ready. I think he may take after my Mom. Nathan is happy when he wakes up on his own but is a crabby pants if we have to wake him up. I think Nathan takes after Stephen, myself and my Dad...Wake us up early and we're down right NASTY! At least there's one nice morning person in this household. LOL

The kid knows his stuff! LOL

2007-08-23T13:40:00.000-06:00

Yesterday in the grocery store, Nicholas starts announcing that Momma is a girl. OK, yes, you are correct; Momma IS a girl. But how do you KNOW Momma is a girl?

His almost 3 year old answer..." 'Cuz YOU don't have a penis!"

So to tease him, I asked if he was sure. He said he was. I thought that was the end of it. Oh no Mommy...he's a boy and he's almost 3. He holds onto everything embarrassing and beats the topic to death.

I spent the rest of the shopping trip listening to him stating (in a loud voice I must add) that Daddy is a boy because he has a penis. And Nathan is a boy because he has a penis. And Nicholas is a boy because HE has a penis. But Mommy's a girl so she doesn't have a penis. Over and Over and Over.

I got some sympathetic smiles from other Moms, some horrified expressions from the old bitties and more than a few snickers to my face and loud guffaws behind my back.

Just another day in my life living in the House of Testosterone.

Nicholas's War Wounds

2007-08-22T01:58:00.000-06:00

My little peanut at 2:30 Saturday morning immediately upon getting home from the local hospital with 2 stitches in his right eye brow.

After a couple hours of sleep and the freezing wearing off.

On Monday morning with a couple of days healing under his belt.

So, lets give you the lowdown...

Friday night at around 11 pm, I was trying to get Nic to head upstairs so I could change his diaper and encourage him to start heading for bed. It wasn't an easy process since he'd had a nap late in the afternoon and was still WIDE awake.

He tripped on the first couple of stairs and hit his head. I thought little about it since he's done this on countless other occasions. I will admit that I was losing my patience with him and I simply scooped him up, carried him up to his room and laid him down on the change pad on top of his dresser. THIS is when I saw the blood. Nic started to freak out a little but I actually remained quite calm. I cleaned him up, put some gauze on it and headed off to the hospital.

We finally got into the treatment room and because he was having a screaming fit, the nurses kicked me out of the room with the pretense that he'd calm down if I wasn't in sight. The stitching took less than 10 minutes and we were out the door to head home again.

Up until now, even with all the trauma, drama and medical problems, my kids have avoided actual stitches. Steri-strips, yes but no surface stitches. Is this an indicator of what he's going to look like when he starts playing sports? The kid already leads with his head. I call him the tank or the bulldozer because he just barrels on through whatever is in his way; It doesn't matter if it's furniture or people.

So all in all, he's fine. He's playing, fighting with Nathan and cuddling just like he normally does. His stitches come out on Friday. I keep thinking I could do it myself but then I realize that I only have 2 hands and it would take an octopus Mother to hold him down and snip those things. I see high drama at the doctor's office. LOL Wish us luck!

My Nathan

2007-08-22T01:39:00.000-06:00

This is my Nathan baby at around 18 months old. I love this laughing face.

His birthday was on August 9th and he's 6 now. Man oh man has he ever changed! He's still a goofy monkey but he's more anxious for our approval now. He's compassionate and charming and full speed ahead in his behaviour. Some call him spirited, I call him high octane. He's the Energizer Bunny, he just never stops.

Daddy wasn't home for the actual birthday so we celebrated when he got home. The cake was chocolate with raspberry filling and obnoxious coloured icing that stained every bodily surface it touched. LOL Blue lips and tongue anyone?

Because he's still fully in love with Cars the movie, he got a race track with Cars characters. We also picked up extra character cars because he needed an audience for the races. LOL He got a motorcycle toy, a bilingual memory/matching game, Mack and Lightning McQueen Lego, and a Leapster game device. I'm hoping the game helps teach him in a more entertaining way that Mommy hasn't been able to duplicate.

So here he is, my 6 year old monster. I sometimes wish he was still little so I could wrap him in my arms and protect him from the world. He tries to be so independent but he's got a sensitive spirit and I know his feelings get hurt. He won't say anything but I can see it in his eyes. I can see me in there too.

Every Little Boys Dream

2007-08-03T23:08:00.000-06:00

Did you know that in Victoria there is a place called the Victoria Bug Zoo? At first sight, it is a gift shop with bug related products...rubber bugs, suckers with bugs inside, bug nets and the list goes on. For a small price, you get to go into the back room and see a multitude of bugs on display.

Now, I'm talking live bugs in glass cases not dead bugs pinned in pans.

We got into the tour that had just started and much to my amazement, the guide started taking bugs out of their cases, holding them out for us to see up close and to pet. Some bugs he allowed us to hold as well. We had a lot of kids in our group and most of them were game to hold bugs.

Nathan held a Praying Mantis, I held a Thorny Devil, and Stephen was the most daring of us all by holding almost every bug that came out of a case including a tarantula.

Nicholas petted a couple of bugs but couldn't be convinced to hold one. Not bad considering he's had a bug phobia since being flown at by a couple of wasps last summer.

I was CONVINCED that this would be a lame and/or creepy place to visit but I was determined to go for the sake of the boys. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I thought Nathan would have fun and I was right; he LOVED it. I liked how informative and casual the place was. I'd actually recommend it but definitely go in with the tour because it is so much more fun when you can touch the bugs and see them up close.

Whistler or Bust

2007-07-29T13:47:00.000-06:00

In all the years I lived in BC, I had NEVER been up to Whistler. This trip, I was determined to go! The forecast called for rain but I still wanted to go.

The Sea to Sky Highway was spectacular to me. There is a lot of work being done right now to widen it and make it "safer" for the 2010 Winter Olympics. The construction caused some delays but nothing really upsetting.

I was happy to see that parking was free. I expected there to be huge parking costs. For all the tourists to go through the town site, it would create a lot of revenue. So we parked and walked through the bustling town site until we found the gondola to the top of the mountain. Nathan and Nicholas could barely contain themselves with all the sights and people. Nicholas positively skipped the whole time. I didn't realize his face could grin that much.

The gondola ride was pretty. We could see other lifts taking extreme mountain bikers to various trails. I think it's great that Whistler as a whole has created bike trails and obstacle courses for the enjoyment of these adrenaline junkies. Nathan was gobsmacked about the whole thing. I think he was envisioning himself on those trails. I, as his over protective mother, was having heart attacks over the idea.

At the top, we walked around in the rain and I felt the most clear I have in a long time. I found a sort of peace that has been lacking for too long.

Stephen talked to a "host/guide" about the building of the peak to peak gondola from Whistler to Blackcomb. It seems like such an impossible idea to me but they are progressing on schedule. I think when it is done, it will be an amazing ride.

After a quick bite to eat, we took a couple of photos and headed back down the gondola to the town site. Poor Nathan was freezing. He doesn't have much meat on his bones. LOL Nicholas couldn't stay still if he'd wanted to. All that fresh air gave him super stamina.

On the way back down the Sea to Sky Highway, a work crew stopped us and told us to turn around and head back up to Squamish (a small town between Vancouver and Whistler). There had been a rock slide earlier in the day and they were having problems clearing it. They had cleared it once, got traffic moving then it had slid again. This was the one we were stuck behind. We chose to continue down the highway and wait until the it opened up again.

The only other choices were to sit in Squamish listening to the radio and then heading back down when they said the road was open again or heading back up to Whistler and down the other side which would apparently take us about 12 hours.

As it was, we sat behind the slide for just under 2 hours. We got out of the car, walked around, talked to strangers, and generally just took time to enjoy the stillness. Strange that I saw it that way. There were hundreds of people walking around and cars for as far as you could see but I saw the stillness of the mountain, the woods, and the stream we were close to. I was able to get back the serenity I felt at the top of the mountain, even for a short period of time.

The rock slide extended our day a little but the view was beautiful and I'd say our day was a success.

Our Visit to White Rock

2007-07-29T13:26:00.000-06:00

One of our first days of vacation, we went into White Rock to meet up with an online friend Twila and her family. Stephen, our boys and I got there first and just walked around in the tidal pools until Twila and company arrived. We walked around the pools for a while longer with our friends then headed back to the towels for lunch.

I was amazed by the amount of life in those pools. We found all kinds of interesting things. There were millions of little tiny snails, little fish darting here and there, crabs of all sizes (a lot had been eaten by the seagulls so we mainly saw the empty shells), and what looked like a baby shrimp.

Depending on where we walked or poked the sand, we'd get spurts of water from buried clams. A couple of us got sprayed pretty good. LOL The kids had a blast trying to dig those little boogers out of the sand but the clams were often too fast and dug themselves deeper.

After lunch, Nathan, Nicholas, Logan and Makenna all played in the sand and tidal pools. Nicholas didn't go to far from me but he did finally start to dig and spray sand everywhere.

Nathan and Logan seemed to hit it off and played together digging for treasure. Beautiful Makenna played here and there but somehow got missed by our picture taking. Hopefully Twila captured more photos than we did. LOL

It was so nice to see Twila, Noel, Logan and Makenna again. It was a short visit but I enjoyed it immensely.

Quick Medical Update

2007-07-28T10:23:00.000-06:00

I've received the results of my latest round of blood tests. Almost everything was normal except for 2 enzymes (I think) that were elevated. They usually indicate a breakdown in the muscles like after a hard workout. Sadly, I had NOT just done a big workout prior to the blood tests.

The doctor has basically ruled out a minor stroke because that would have only affected one side or the other. I already figured that much. So the doctor is building on the idea of MS or I Don't Know as the diagnosis.

She is referring me to a neurologist and letting him/her send me for an MRI. She thinks that I'll get a higher priority if I'm referred for the MRI by a neurologist. I'll believe THAT when I see it. LOL

Until then, I am waiting, waiting, and waiting some more. I'm just continuing to do what needs to be done and hoping for the best.

I'm Home

2007-07-27T21:59:00.000-06:00

Hello my lovelies. I am home now and trying to recover from my vacation. LOL I dropped Stephen off at the airport this morning so I'm back online too.

I have a few stories from our vacation and I'll be writing them in separate posts as I think about them. I have to dump the contents of the camera as well and see what Stephen took photos of. He didn't take many apparently. Men! LOL Don't they understand that us women need something visual to reminisce over?

I'll be back with the gory details later.

Taking a Hike

2007-07-14T01:41:00.000-06:00

I'm outta here for my holidays. I'll be back home...um, later. LOL Maybe I'll even have photos to share.

Love and Squishes. Isn't THAT a lovely image. GAG!

Aye Matey!

2007-07-10T13:00:00.000-06:00

A sweet friend and fellow blogger posted about her son's fascination with pirates lately. It reminded me of a story about Nathan.

Nathan and I were standing in a long line up at Timmy's. Nathan was looking around, fidgeting like a little boy full of energy. Half way through our wait, Nathan pipes up, "Look Mommy, a Pirate!"

I was distracted (day dreaming) so I started to brush off the comment until Nathan started to insist there was a pirate. I looked up and a very large man had just past us. He was one of the biggest freaking bikers I have ever seen! Large man, wearing a HUGE leather jacket, big honking boots and a skull and crossbones do-rag/head hankie.

I was flustered because what do you say? I wanted to correct Nathan but what is politically correct. 'Sorry honey, that's not a pirate...He's a biker.' I did try to get Nathan to reduce the volume of his voice but it was already too late. Half the occupants of Timmy's were grinning and trying not to snicker.

It took a few extra seconds but the biker finally turned around (looking very intimidating because he was scowling), broke into a grin for Nathan and said, "Arrrr Matey!" Then he turned back around and walked out of Timmy's.

As he left, the whole place cracked up. We could finally release the tension with laughter. I was a little rubber legged for a bit afterwards. Nathan was thrilled to have met a real pirate. LOL

A Lucky Anniversary

2007-07-07T21:34:00.000-06:00

Today is Stephen and my 7th wedding anniversary. It is our "lucky" one because it is our 7th anniversary on the 7th day of the 7th month of 2007. Have you guessed that 7 is Stephen's lucky number? LOL

My loving Dad had to point out though, "Have you ever heard of the 7 year itch?" Nice! Way to help me celebrate Pops! LOL

Stephen called me this morning to wish me a happy anniversary and sent me a cute e-card. I also received calls from my sister-in-law and mother-in-law. Nathan and Nicholas are oblivious but I'll forgive them since they are so young. LOL

Wait and See

2007-07-06T17:53:00.000-06:00

I saw my el Doctoro this morning. I presented all the symptoms of extremity numbness, weakness, mental confusion and difficulty speaking. The Doctor is a little worried but not enough to send me to the hospital immediately. I figure it can't be too bad since the symptoms seem to get better then get worse. They don't completely go away but they get less noticable and annoying.

The Doctor has sent me home with an almost full page requisition for blood and urine tests. There are a couple of fasting tests so I'm hoping to get them done tomorrow. (I THINK the lab is open tomorrow.)

She said that I'm presenting like a stroke, but not really and I'm presenting like MS, but not really. How's THAT for reassuring? LOL So now I need to get the tests done and get the results so we can figure out what to do next. She may also have to send me to a neurologist but we'll wait until the test results are in.

On a better note, my blood pressure was FABULOUS! The Doctor told me to start taking a baby aspirin a day now as well as the other meds.

Wait and see what happens is the way it is. I'm not going to freak out until there is something to freak out about. Maybe. LOL

General Update

2007-07-04T15:14:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, after a week at home, I shuttled Stephen back out to the airport and sent him off to Ekati again. It was a good week together. We built 2 retaining wall type flower beds in front of the house as our "creative time" together. Well, Stephen did the work and I supervised, kept the children out of the way and played pack mule. My poor hands from carrying the bricks! LOL

Today is my honey's birthday. He's 38 and all by himself at work. I'm planning birthday stuff for when he gets home. I have one present for him but I can't reveal it because Stephen reads my blog too. He's also going to be away for our 7th anniversary. It is a lucky anniversary too...our 7th anniversary on the 7th day of the 7th month. I still have to come up with an anniversary present for him. Hmmm...any ideas?

Nathan had his kindergarten farewell ceremony last week. Both french immersion classes were there to sing a couple of songs and get their certificate saying they had just done a year of french immersion kindergarten. It was pretty cute listening to 53 kids singing songs about a Petite Poisson and Dino Dinosaur.

Nicholas has been back tracking on his toilet training because he didn't want Daddy to see his naked bum. It's all well and good for Mommy to see the nakedness all day every day, but Daddy causes naked phobias. Go figure! LOL

Nathan is going through "a phase" at the moment. He is now not only defiant to me but to everyone who sees him. His abilities to listen and think before he acts have gone on vacation. He is a lot more destructive and stubborn. But of course, this is seeing his behaviour in a negative light. To put it in a positive light, he is being more creative, inquisitive, and experimental. He is incredibly focused on his experimentation that he has shut out the distractions around him. (Hint: The distractions are Mommy, Daddy and little brother Nicholas. )

And I have finally gotten some sleep! Yahoo! Stephen's flight to Ekati yesterday was scheduled to leave at 6:45 am so we were up at 4 am to get cleaned up, dressed and to the airport. The kidlets both had little naps yesterday but I didn't. Even with the naps, the boys slept in until almost 10 am. It might have something to do with them both sneaking into my bed last night. What better way to wake up than to have 2 little monkeys play peek-a-boo with you around the pillow?

Despite the nice sleeping in, I wasn't able to move to get up. I've been struggling to move all day today. I can get short bursts of energy and get from Point A to Point B but it's taking a lot out of me. I just feel like I've been beaten up by a whole mess of people.

I've been having some numbness issues with my right side for the past month or so and it is getting worse. I think that whatever the main issue is, I keep aggravating it by getting up and walking, lifting, and just plain living. It has just been getting worse and worse over the past week and now my left side is being affected. I can usually still walk and function but there is numbness and heaviness to my extremities.

To prevent any comments of "Call your doctor", let me assure you that I have already done that. I called last week. I'm heading in on Friday morning and I'll hopefully be seeing my chiropractor before that. I wasn't too worried about waiting to see the doctor until this morning. Today has been the most difficult thus far. We'll have to see what shape I'm in later.

So there it is, boring as hell. I'm starting to realize that I have no life. LOL

Too Many Buns

2007-06-23T20:24:00.000-06:00

I think I'm living in a nudist colony right now. I'm trying to toilet train Nicholas and it is just easier to let him run around naked. He doesn't have accidents while he's naked. It's like he knows that he'll piddle on his toes if he starts to pee. However, if he has a Pull-up or a diaper on...he doesn't bother to ask for the toilet until he's already peed. I even tried big boy underwear but he's not into them. He had a screaming hissy fit until I changed him. No accident but he didn't like them. Maybe if I get him some Lightning McQueen undies he'll be more inclined. Hmmmm?!?

And Nathan, my dear sweet Nathan, just likes to hang free. LOL He sees Nicholas in the buff so he thinks its ok for him too. I've been seeing naked little boy bottoms all week. Too many buns! LOL

So fair warning for those who are local...if you drop by as a surprise, you may get a surprise of your own. The boys forget that they are nude and will run to the door to greet you.

I'm sure my neighbours have already seen more than they care for since one or the other likes to stand in front of the window on the stairs and people watch. This used to be such a nice neighbourhood...then we moved in. LOL

It's all Dad's fault

2007-06-19T23:06:00.000-06:00

I got a call from my Dad tonight. He apparently was calling before the meds kicked in. WHAT!?!

My Dad, at the early age of 56 or 57, went back to school to become a Community Support Worker. There are a number of job opportunities with that diploma but he chose working with mentally handicapped adults. He's covering for someone's mat leave, nervous breakdown, some sort of extended leave of absence.

Today, Dad and a client/resident had gone for a drive to a park and went for a walk. As they were walking back to the van, the client tried to run into traffic. Dad saw what was coming and physically blocked the client. The client is, as Dad describes it, built like a fire hydrant. Short, squat and impossible to move.

As Dad blocked the client, he was knocked off his feet and fell on his left side. My Dad is now sporting a bruised hip and butt cheek along with a funky foam sling from a partially separated shoulder. The shoulder had partially popped out and popped itself back in. Along with the bruises, he has a LOT of soft tissue damage and will be off work for a minimum of a week but most likely longer. He is now 59 years old so he doesn't bounce back like he used to.

So there you have it folks...this just proves that I follow in his footsteps. This is just the latest in his list of injuries. He has a LOOOOONNNGGG history of falls and wipe outs and so do I. Nathan and Nicholas are following this line too. LOL

So tonight as you lay your head on your pillow and drift off to an easy sleep, think of my Dad and chuckle to yourself over his misery. I know I will. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm kidding! Love you Dad. I hope you feel better soon. ;-)

Zoo Field Trip

2007-06-19T22:54:00.000-06:00

Today was Nathan's field trip to the Valley Zoo. It was both French Immersion kindergarten classes (53 students between 2 classes) and the English kindergarten with about 20 students. Families were invited to join them at the zoo but we'd of course have to pay our own admission. No sweat!

I drove my van with Nicholas, myself, another Mom and her preschooler. She had volunteered to take a group of students in the zoo but I hadn't.

We stood outside the zoo entrance waiting for another parent to show and when it looked like she wasn't coming, I volunteered to take her group in. Nathan saw that I had a group and asked if he could leave his group and join me. The teacher, the other parent and I agreed so I was in control of Nathan, Nicholas and 3 additional 5/6 year olds. Oh JOY! LOL What was nice was that by taking a group of students into the zoo, I got in free. I only had to pay for Nicholas. Watch me do my happy dance. LOL

Through the whole day, Nathan was the trouble maker. He decided that he didn't want to be tied down to the group and would take off at will. I swear the zoo visitors knew my son by name because I ended up bellowing it often enough.

All in all, it was a good day. We rode the little train, the kids rode the carousel, we had our picnic lunch, we watched the flight display and we walked the zoo a couple of times over. I don't think the kids really looked at the animals much but overall, we did well.

A quick drive back to the school to drop off the other Mom and preschooler and we made off for home. Nicholas was so tired that he napped in the van coming back from the zoo AND he went to bed at a decent hour. Quiet time for Mommy. Yahoo! LOL

First Impressions & Too Much Honesty

2007-06-15T20:31:00.000-06:00

I'm writing this because of some posts about how strangers maul large families and families of multiples and ask goofy questions. This is my situation, similar but still so different.

As some of you know, I'm a little...different in my appearance. I'm a plus size (I love politically correct terms for Fat Chick LOL), have amazing blue eyes with lashes that go on forever (I'm not bragging, people have told me this), and super short hair dyed dark purple. I have also shaved my head from time to time, but that is another story.

I have all of 2 tattoos, small and not very tacky. I am gearing up for a memorial tattoo for late this summer.

I have been called a dyke and a butch by friends and family and the majority of the time I'm OK with that. I've been hit on by women and though I get flustered, I enjoy the compliment.

So what this leads to is...why do people feel it is their right to ask me my sexual orientation? I have been asked by 3 different parents at Nathan's school if I'm gay. A couple of others have admitted to wondering but were afraid to ask. I know these people strictly by sight because our children go to the same class.

My first reaction whenever someone blurts out the question is, "Why, are you looking for a date?" or "No, I enjoy the company of all humanity."

I'm not bitter about the impression people get of me, but I am bitter that people think it is their right to know. Aren't I still a good parent? Am I not a whole person if I'm one way or the other? Does it really matter in the greater scheme of things? How does MY choice of partners affect their lives?

I leave this up to discussion. Go ahead, tear me apart...I like the attention. LOL

Because Someone Asked/Nicholas's Story

2007-06-10T18:44:00.000-06:00

Someone asked me why I thought Nicholas might have problems toilet training. The simple answer is that Nicholas was born with kidney and bladder problems. He might not have the same full bladder sensations that others have.

Here is the FULL story:

I had just had an ultrasound at 22 weeks pregnant and I was changing from my OB/GYN to a midwife. At my very first midwife appointment, she did the normal stuff like monitoring the baby and letting me hear the heartbeat. When I got up, she said to not worry too much but there was something about the baby that was found on the ultrasound. She handed me the report and I read that my male baby had left side hydronephrosis. Essentially too much fluid in his left kidney.

I was horrified. I thought that I had done something wrong. I had caused this. The midwife assured me that this wasn't the case but she recommended that I have the baby in Edmonton rather than at our small town hospital...Just in case.

The rest of my pregnancy followed all the "rules" except that I had to have Bio Physical Profiles (more intensive ultrasounds) every 4 weeks to monitor the baby and his kidney. In the mean time, I met with nephrologists (kidney specialists) and our pediatrician to discuss what was coming.

On September 7, 2004, Nicholas Arthur Lee was delivered. He did great immediately after the delivery and promptly voided his bladder but then gave us a scare and wouldn't keep his colour. The NICU respiratory team came in to monitor him for about an hour but he perked up so they left him with me.

Within his first month of life, Nicholas was poked, prodded, and scanned to see the full impact of his hydronephrosis. He was diagnosed with Class 5 Urine Reflux (the worst level) and he had an obstruction of some sort in his ureter that couldn't be fully diagnosed without invasive surgery. He was put on a daily prophylactic (preventative) dose of antibiotics to try and prevent bladder and kidney infections.

He was good until he was about 2 months old. He had his first breakthrough infection and was admitted for IV antibiotics. He also went through more scans to monitor his condition. He continued having renal scans at 6 months and 1 year to keep a close eye on his kidney. They were looking for any signs of the kidney failing or reducing in function.

At the one year scan, the urologist (Pee Pee doctor LOL) said that his kidney function was reducing and that they'd schedule him for surgery. He had hoped to hold off on surgery until he was between 2 and 5 years old but that was not to be.

Over the course of his first 18 months, he was having a new breakthrough infection about every 6 weeks.

His surgery date was within days of his 18 month birthday. He had a pyeloplasty and left uretic re-implant. Basically, they cut out the excess ureter with the blockage, some stretched out kidney tissue and moved the ureter at the bladder to a better position so it would "close off" when the bladder was full. He was in the hospital for 4-5 days hooked up to a catheter, an IV and an epidural.

This photo was taken about 2 weeks after the surgery and while he was getting antibiotics for a staph infection in the incisions. The larger incision opened up at the surface but the under lying tissues were well stitched and remained closed. The lower incision was from the drain they put in right after surgery. He has another incision along the "bikini line". It runs from the body centre line almost to his left hip. Remember that this is on the body of a LARGE 18 month old. He was 31 lbs when he went into surgery and looked like he was 2 or 3 years old.

He has gone back for renal scans every 6 months to monitor the situation. They have shown that the kidney is stable and is neither improving nor deteriorating. If the next scan in the fall is the same, then they will stretch out the scans to once a year.

The scars have faded to skin tone and he is an active boy. He'll be starting playschool in September when he turns 3 years old. He loves his big brother and follows him everywhere. Whatever Nathan does, Nicholas has to follow suit. We have some concerns for later in life when he wants to join sport teams but the doctors have assured us that he will be able to but he'll need a more rigid kidney protector.

Nicholas looks healthy and people that don't know about his hard start would never imagine that there was any thing wrong. It's very deceiving. Soon he'll be old enough to start to watch out for himself but I still think he'll be an adrenalin junkie like his big brother and he'll play hard at everything he does. I have faith.

One More Down

2007-06-09T14:04:00.000-06:00

Nicholas has given up the lovey blanket! He was weaning himself off of it and leaving it in his bed or on the counter. He just stopped asking and looking for it. I kept them clean and available in case he decided that he needed them but he hasn't.

I finally did the final step and folded them up and put them away permanently this past weekend. I marked the occasion with a stiff drink that evening. Now we still have the toilet training but it is coming along. He's asking more frequently and asking before he does it in his diaper. Diaper free is a long way off still but he's doing better than I ever imagined.

Nathan, my romantic boy

2007-05-30T20:41:00.000-06:00

Nathan is a ladies man in kindergarten. He's usually surrounded by a small gaggle of girls. He just eats up the attention. He is following in his grandfather's footsteps. LOL

Nathan has his favourite girls; at the beginning of the year it was all about Elizabeth but now he's all about Cheyanne. The little red haired girl to my Charlie Brown boy.

We saw Cheyanne, her little sister Autumn and their Mom at Home Depot one day and we stopped to chat. After we walked away, I started to harass Nathan about Cheyanne.

"Is Cheyanne your girlfriend?"

"No!", Nathan says with a silly grin.

"Do you have a crush on Cheyanne?"

"No!", he replies again.

A minute later, Nathan turns to me and says, "Mom, Cheyanne makes my eyes turn to hearts."

It took all my energy not to crack up laughing. He was so sincere and so dripping with puppy love that I almost fell over. I beat a hasty backtrack to Cheyanne and her Mom to tell her this tidbit. Her Mom shrieked in laughter and we've been talking about it since.

This is definitely one to bring up (in some form or another) at his wedding.

Freaking Accident Prone Kids

2007-05-23T18:23:00.000-06:00

On Victoria Day, I was taking a shower and the boys decided it would be fun to come in and take up all the available space. I had just climbed out and was starting to dry off when I heard a horrendous ca-THUD and Nicholas started to scream. As I helped him out of the tub, I saw gob loads of blood coming from his mouth. I thought, 'OK, he's bitten his lip or tongue. It'll stop any minute now.' No such luck!

I finally got him to let me take a look and the blood was coming from the gumline above his right front tooth. A cold wet cloth did little to stem the bloodflow. It did finally slow a bit, enough that he wasn't drooling blood anymore and I was able to call Healthlink. They recommended the Emergency Dental Clinic at the U of A hospital in case he had split the tooth at or inside the gum line.

I was able to get him in to see the dentist and after an x-ray, Nicholas was cleared to go. The tooth is not broken anywhere but it is loosened pretty significantly. He is supposed to be on soft food or liquids for 5-7 days. Oh, this'll be FUN! LOL Thank goodness the kid likes Pediasure, milk and bananas. He keeps asking for pickles though...maybe he's pregnant. LOL

Random Bragging about my Boys

2007-05-05T14:53:00.000-06:00

Here are my little monsters. You'd ALMOST think that they liked each other. LOL Nicholas always wants to do what Big Brother Nathan is doing. I know that this frustrates Nathan to no end but he's gotta live with it. They will be brothers forever...even if they don't always like each other.
This is Nicholas, my future football player/rugby player/professional wrestler. LOL He is not even 3 yet and wearing clothes that Nathan just outgrew last fall. He is 38 inches tall and about 40 pounds. He's a real cheeseball when it comes to having fun. He likes to play innocent but I know that he's really an evil little munchkin. LOL
And Nathan...my first born, my sunshine boy and my biggest source of torment. He is high octane, high energy and more than a little sensitive. He is very much like Stephen in that he is strong willed and likes to test the boundaries. I wouldn't have it any other way. Well, maybe a little more respectful of Mommy's authority but he's cute so he makes up for it. HaHa!

I think I got hit on today...by a WOMAN! LOL

2007-04-29T18:36:00.000-06:00

I was out and about with Nathan and Nicholas, doing a little shopping. We had stopped for a bite to eat and as we were finishing up, a lady walks over and asks if she can sit with us. I just figured she was alone and didn't want to take up a table to herself. I agreed to her company...because I'm a nice person. LOL

She introduces herself to me and the boys and starts to chat us up a little. Small talk, right? Then she tells me that she had seen me in the food court and just wanted to say what a pretty lady I am and to wish me a happy day. Certainly I was flattered but a little wierded out too. LOL

This is when Nicholas piped up that Daddy was at work. At that point, Norma beat a hasty retreat. She said that she was here with friends and just wanted to tell me how pretty I was and to wish us a great day again.

I watched her for a little while as she went over to her friends and saw that one friend hugged her and rubbed her back in a comforting way after they had all talked and looked back at me. She looked back a couple more times and waved as she left.

I've got to say I was flattered and it did kind of brighten the day. Even if her intentions were only to be nice, it worked.

Mommy Brag Time

2007-04-28T09:26:00.000-06:00

As some of you know, my baby Nicholas (he's 2 and a half now) has made use of the comforting properties of both a soother and a blanket. I have been hesitant to remove them because I figured he'd lose interest in his own time and if I tried to wean him off or just abruptly removed them, he'd be wanting them more and NEVER get rid of them. Well the time has come...he has lost the soother and seems to be releasing the blanket too.

I spent all of 2 days just taking the soother away during the day when he was just letting it hang on its tether. If he didn't want it, why have it on his shirt, right? It became out of sight, out of mind. He asked for it the first day when he was getting tired and when he got hurt while playing with Nathan. The next day, only when he was getting tired. The third day, he didn't ask for it at all. I think I lucked out and caught him at the exact right time for this.

As for the blanket, he used to cart it around EVERYWHERE. If he didn't want to carry it any more, he'd put it on his head like a head scarf. It has now spent the majority of the time on the floor (or counter). He is now picking it up mostly to ball up and throw at me or Nathan. He isn't using it to fall asleep now but he still wants it when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Half the time in the mornings, he'll just leave it in his bed.

OK, 2 toddler/preschooler things done, time to get serious about using the toilet. He has shown SOME interest in it but not consistantly. He uses the toilet more often if I suggest it...not always, but more often. I'm trying not to panic about it but he needs to be toilet trained by September when he's enrolled to go to playschool. It's coming along, slowly.

About Kids

2007-04-14T17:22:00.000-06:00

I've been reading Chicken Soup for the Mother and Son Soul and came across a passage that really summed it up for me, the mother of 2 sons.

A father may turn his back on his child; brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies; husbands may desert their wives, and wives their husbands. But a mother's love endures through all; in good repute, in bad repute, in the face of the world's condemnation, a mother still loves on and still hopes that her child may turn from his evil ways and repent; still she remembers the infant smiles that once filled her bosom with rapture, the merry laugh, the joyful shout of his childhood, the opening promise of his youth; and she can never be brought to think him unworthy. ~Washington Irving

No matter how frustrated I get with my boys, they are still my world. As a wise friend of mine said (loosely quoted) these traits that we cringe at and try to curb in their childhood will be the traits that make them successful in their adulthood. Thanks Dani, I need to be reminded of this every once in a while.

My Baby is growing up

2007-04-11T09:47:00.000-06:00

I went last night and registered Nicholas for Playschool. He'll be going Monday mornings from 9:30-11:30.

I have the summer now to get him potty trained and try to get him to separate from me. I'm hoping by September (and his third birthday) he'll be willing to let me out of his sight for a couple of hours. He needs to be socialized with kids his own age and have different adults take care of him.

This will be the beginning of his practice to get ready for kindergarten in 2 years. LOL I'm planning WAAAAAAY ahead. It'll probably take ME that long to get used to him not being totally attached to me.

You should just go away somewhere.

2007-04-10T17:41:00.000-06:00

That's the great advice of a pediatric physician on how to help my sons get better and stop being so sick.

It's been 3 hours since she said it and I'm STILL shaking my head.

As you will realize, my sons are sick or injured a lot. It is a way of life for us. LOL Winter 2005-2006 was our year for croup and this winter has been asthma attacks triggered by colds and RSV.

I had to take the boys into the hospital again today because Nicholas needed to be rechecked after a week's treatment for pneumonia. He still wasn't any better. Nathan has been coughing and snorting for well over a month and is still not losing it. I've come to the end of what I can do at home for them.

Nathan is being affected by the snow moulds, grass moulds, dust, and the rotting vegetation of early spring. Nicholas is being affected the same way but is more asthmatic at the moment. So basically, we just continue using the Flovent and Ventolin inhalers and Nicholas is on Pediapred for 5 days.

Oh the joys of motherhood! LOL Honestly, I wouldn't give it up for anything else in this world...maybe the next world, but not this one. LOL

Another shot

2007-04-08T19:30:00.000-06:00

So I'm giving this blogging thing another shot. I tried once before and failed to be as creative as I wanted to be. I just came off as depressed. LOL

This time'll be different. I have inspiration from some of my friends.

I'm sitting here thinking about what to write and listening to Nathan and Nicholas beating the tar out of each other. I DEFINITELY have boys! LOL

On the topic of the boys beating each other silly, I had to take Nathan into the ER yesterday because he had fallen over Nicholas a few days back and smacked his face on a toy. His left cheekbone is scraped and bruised. I had been treating him at home but yesterday he refused to eat because it hurt so bad. I thought maybe he had something like a hairline fracture of the jaw the way he was carrying on. So off we trot to the Stollery Hospital.

The intern starts his exam and starts asking a lot of questions about Nathan's past history of injuries. This kid has had a concussion (from tripping over the cat), a split lip that almost needed plastic surgery (from a face plant on a slide), a hole inside his lip from biting it, several black eyes, and a different injury to his left cheekbone (from climbing on a chair and falling onto his toy bin). He has bruises up and down his legs and arms and scratches on his belly.

I can account for almost every mark on his body. The way the intern was interogating me...well, let's just say that I'm not an idiot, I know he was checking for abuse issues. It was almost laughable except for the seriousness of the accusation. I actually felt guilty and I know that I've done nothing wrong. I guess I should be happy that the hospital is vigilant about it. Still, it freaked me out.

My boys play hard. They never look before they leap and unfortunately, that leads to injuries. As it turns out, Nathan's problem had nothing to do with the fall on the toy, he has a bad molar. Guess what Mommy's doing Tuesday morning! LOL

So there it is...my drama. What would my life be like without drama? Pretty boring I think.

Happy Birthday Mom

2007-04-07T23:45:00.000-06:00

This is my Mom's Grad year photo. I love it. I honestly look just like her. It's funny to think that a year later, she was a Mom.

April 7, 2007 would have been Mom's 52nd birthday. I still find it hard to believe that she's been gone 6 1/2 years.

Today was honestly very hard. Nathan and Nicholas kept me pretty busy but now that they're sleeping, I have time to think.

I love you Mom and I really miss you. I hope that your birthday was grand.

Claire Booker (nee Szatmary)
April 7, 1955 - September 9, 2000